


Did it to myself

by basicallyiwriteshit



Series: Mama's Home [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Communication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Healing, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, OT3, Other, Pining, Therapy, accidental confessions, bc they get together cmon, jake gets a therapist and yes his therapist is emile picani, past trauma, polyship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-01-05 20:10:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21214373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basicallyiwriteshit/pseuds/basicallyiwriteshit
Summary: Mama’s large home in the woods just outside of Kepler, West Virginia, is a safe-haven for the outcasts-- damaged, broken, and scared. Jake Coolice is all three of those at age seventeen when he finds himself stuck at a bus stop just outside of Snowshoe, West Virginia.





	1. Wonder what are you doin' now?

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song "Did it to Myself" by Orla Gartland despite the fact that I actually wanna do a hollice songfic about it idk
> 
> The chapters are going to be split into 4-- Jake's views on the situation, Hollis' views, Keith's views, and then the fourth chapter is how they get together!

Mama’s large home in the woods just outside of Kepler, West Virginia, is a safe-haven for the outcasts-- damaged, broken, and scared. Jake Coolice is all three of those at age seventeen when he finds himself stuck at a bus stop just outside of Snowshoe, West Virginia. He doesn’t have enough money to stay at any hotels in town, and so he prays that the next bus that shows up stops at a place willing to take him in with the measly $30 he has in his pocket. 

Of course, then he won’t have money for food or anything, then, but maybe they’ll have an indoor station at least. 

He just wants to get as far away from home as he can. New York is pretty far from California, and that’s his plan; just following the buses with the cheapest fare until he gets there. All he knows is that he’s in a place where his dad can’t call him, even if he wanted, and that’s all he cares about. The bus rumbles up, and Jake hops up from his spot on a bench nearby the terminal, making his way over, but before he can reach the bus he realizes he doesn’t have his bag and he turns to grab it, only for him to turn back around and find the bus already down the road. He curses and tries to run after it, but he’s too slow and so he makes his way back to the terminal, collapsing on the bench he’d been sitting on before. 

“Well, fuck.” 

A quick look at the bus schedule tells him that there isn’t a bus coming for another three hours, and he’s freezing. The idea of three hours alone, out in the cold, it’s too much for Jake. He just-- breaks down. Everything is just too damn much, and he’s still just a _kid_. Why would his parent want this to happen to their own _kid_? It’s so fucking unfair. Jake doesn’t even care that anyone can see him crying, at least he doesn’t right now. Right now he just needs to cry it out. A gentle, yet firm, hand finds his shoulder. He lifts his head, sniffling, to find an older woman standing next to him looking rather concerned. 

“Hey,” She says, and Jake runs shaking hands over his face to try and wipe away some tears; he’s embarrassed to be seen crying, now that someone’s actually talking to him. “You alright?” 

“I-- I just missed my bus, is a- all--” Jake hiccups, and his cheeks flush. “I missed my bus, is all. I’m fine.” 

“You sure, son? Where’re your parents? You supposed to meet ‘em in the next station and can’t call ‘em to let 'em know you’re not gonna be there?” 

That makes Jake laugh. “If they are, I’ll be surprised.” 

“Yeah?” The stranger sits beside him, watching Jake with curious eyes. Jake’s eyes fall on a rainbow pin on her duster, and he smiles. Someone who might understand. “Sounds rough. You wanna talk about it?” 

“Not- uh, not really.” She seems nice enough, but Jake doesn't want to spill all of his issues just like that. “I’m Jake.” 

“Mama.” Mama offers her hand to Jake, and he shakes it with a soft smile. 

“Mama?” 

“It’s a nickname. Geeze, feels weird to say that.” She chuckles and smiles too, before her face goes serious again. "You sure you’re alright? You look pretty rough.” 

“Well, it’s not going great, I’ll be honest. Missing the bus was kinda the last thing I needed.” 

“Where were you headed?” 

“I...honestly don’t know. New York. Probably.” 

Mama hums, looking at the bus schedule on the window of the ticket booth. “Well, it’s good you missed that bus then. The end of the line on that bus is Richmond, Virginia. You wanna be on the bus going through D.C. That one won’t be here until tomorrow morning.” 

“Wait, what?” Jake sits up and takes another look at the schedule to find Mama’s telling the truth. He runs his fingers through his hair, tugging a bit to try and stop the tears pooling in his eyes, not wanting to cry again. “Fuck! Damn it!” 

Cooing, Mama rubs his back, whispering calming words. A voice calls her from across the parking lot and she looks up with a sigh. 

“Look, hey. Jake. I think it’s pretty clear you ain’t got anywhere to go, so uh-- do you wanna come with me? Know it’s a little weird and serial-killer-y, but I promise we do this stuff to help out...You can stay at my place for the night. Someone’ll be able to bring you back to snowshoe before your bus comes tomorrow.” 

“I- I really shouldn’t, I don’t want to inconvenience you or anything--” Jake says, but it’s cold and he can’t stop shivering. It’s a tempting offer, and even if Mama and her friend _are _going to murder him or something he can’t find it in him to care. “...Kepler, you said?” 

“It’s a not too long of a drive, and my truck is warm.” Mama says. Her name’s called again and she stands, offering a hand to Jake-- he takes it, and Mama hauls him up with surprising strength, tugging him along to her old beat-up pickup. The person who called her name looks a bit surprised to see Mama has a new person with her, but doesn’t question it as if it’s normal. Just introduces himself as Barclay and steps up to the opposite side. The drive is a bit uncomfortable, at least to Jake, who sits in between Mama and Barclay in the cab of Mama’s truck. Mama and Barclay chat idly as the sun starts to set behind them. Soon enough they’re pulling up into a sleepy-looking town, a sign announcing “welcome to Kepler” and then they’re pulling into a long winding driveway. 

“Thanks for letting me stay. I-- I don’t have a lot, but I can give you some cash.” Jake says, his voice raw. He’s stopped crying, at least, and that’s good. Mama shakes her head. 

“It’s no big deal. You’d be surprised how often we do this kinda thing. I don’t want any money from you, son. You need it more.” 

Jake’s heart aches. He can’t believe how much kindness he’s being shown by a stranger. Mama brings him and his bag inside a rather large house and Jake feels his jaw drop. Did he accidentally get himself into an _Annie _situation? Mama puts him in a room and lets him shower, which he does gratefully, and when he comes out there’s a note on the bed and his bag is gone. Mama’s washing his clothes for him. He wanders out to the living room, and finds Barclay sitting at the dining room table with a kettle in front of him. He perks up when Jake enters. “Hey, there, bud. Want some tea?” 

Jake’s nose wrinkles up before he can help it. He shakes his head politely. “No thank you. I don’t like tea.” 

“Oh, alright. Hot chocolate?” 

“Oh-- No, you’ve already made tea, I’m fine.” 

“No trouble. It’s cold out. I’ve got soup on the stovetop, too. Dinner’s in about twenty.” 

“Right-- Uh-- Thank you?..” 

Barclay smiles, makes him one of the best hot chocolates he’s ever had. Mama comes back in, and sets Jake down on the couch for a chat. She isn’t demanding, but she does ask a few questions that bring tears back to Jake’s eyes; for every sniffle, though, Mama’s there with a tissue or quiet, reassuring words. When he explains the situation with his parents, she doesn’t look angry, or sympathetic to his parents, but she has a sad look on her face like it’s something she’s used to. 

“Y’know,” Mama pipes up, and Jake looks up at her. “We’ve got the room if you don’t wanna keep goin’ all alone. We do this all the time, taking in people like you. You could stay, at least until you feel ready to go off alone again. 

Barclay adds from where he’s portioning out dinner. “People ‘round here are always kind to the folks we take in, ‘less the wanna face a mad Mama Bear.” 

That piques Jake's interest. He'd been under the impression that West Virginia wasn't too kind to queer folks. "Really?"

Mama nods. "I know you're headed to New York, but if you ever find your way down this direction again, Mama always has a bed open. Alright? Now let’s get to dinner. Barclay, call Moira and Dani down. Indrid ain't joining us."

That’s that. Dinner starts and Mama doesn’t bring it up again until the next morning, lets Jake weigh his options. The time comes, however, that he needs to decide and Jake finds himself not wanting to leave. He’s hesitant to say so at first, because he doesn't know these people, but from what he saw so far he actually wants to stay.

So he does. 

-

As much as Jake would like to go back to school, it's too late into the year for him to do so now. And a quick look at his credits tells him that he'd need to attend Kepler High School for a little over a year and a half to graduate with West Virginia state standards, which is frustrating to say the least but he wants to graduate high school. Mama promises him that he'll be enrolled in August when school starts up again, and he's so excited he almost forgets he's sick.

Turns out he had a really bad case of bronchitis that he never got looked at, and even with the antibiotics he'd been given it takes a whole month for his lungs to work at full capacity again. In the mean time, he rests until he can’t anymore. He doesn’t like standing still long, and he wants to feel like some help to Mama and Barclay, so he tries to do housework when he can.

He turns 18 in March, but doesn’t tell anyone when his birthday is. 

As he starts feeling better he spends more and more time with the others staying at the house without being scared of getting them sick. Moira is nice and plays pretty piano for him when he’s sad, but she’s quiet and doesn’t quite understand his sense of humor. Perhaps if her immune system wasn’t so weak and he wasn’t scared of getting her sick even when he isn’t they might be better friends. Dani is always so fun and bright, though --despite what she’s been through-- and it’s nice spending time out in the garden with her. Dani spends her days at work and evenings doing college work on her computer, but she always makes time for relaxing. For her, it’s gardening, and Jake finds this out when the weather starts to warm up in early May. Jake likes to spend his days outside in the garden, watching bugs interacting with the delicate, cared-for flowers. 

Even still, Jake is restless. Dani is able to hook him up with a part time job at the local general store in late May. It’s boring, but easy on his health (which, after four months on the road, is still rocky), and the job gives him some spare cash for new clothes and a new phone. He even buys a skateboard, though he’s better at snowboarding. He doesn’t know much about standing upright on a board on wheels. 

He’s practicing just that one day while he waits for Barclay to pick him up and drive him home after a shift at the general store, though he isn’t progressing too well; he’s got scrapes on his hands and knees, and he thinks he might’ve twisted his ankle. 

He’d just fallen off his board for the third time in three yards when he hears a chuckle and looks up to see someone leaning over him.

A townsperson, probably around the same age as Jake, stands above him with a leather vest and tattoos crawling up their left arm. Their dark hair hangs in a high ponytail, strands of it falling out in a way that suggests its purposefully messy, their clothes just a bit too baggy for their long, thin limbs. They offer a hand to him, and Jake takes it after a hesitant moment.

“Thanks.”

“Hey, no problem. You’re doing pretty good, almost stayed on the board longer than ten seconds,” they say, voice teasing, and Jake’s cheeks burn. He takes his hand back abruptly, probably before he should have because he falls back down again. The stranger laughs, offers a hand again. Jake just stands on his own this time.

“I’m new at this, I can’t help it that I’m bad at it,” he says, and okay maybe he’s pouting.

“Oh– Oh, no, I’m not laughin’ at you or anything! You really are doing fine, I’m complimenting you.” The stranger smiles in a placating gesture. “Sorry if that came off rude. You’ve got some scrapes, why don’t I patch you up and give you a ride home on my bike?”

"Oh, no, I’m fine, really! Thank you, though.”

“You sure? It’s getting dark. Might worry your folks some.”

“I don’t– My folks aren’t with me. Now, I should– I really should go.” Jake moves to walk away, but he must’ve hurt his ankle more than he thought because as soon as he puts too much pressure on it, it sends a rush of pain through his lower leg and he hisses. The stranger notices and moves to his side, leading him off to a nearby bench to sit down. They pull a few large bandaids from their jacket pocket and some antiseptic spray from their pants pocket.

“You’re pretty geared up to be out on the town. Why all the first aid stuff?”

“Hm? Oh, my friends and I are pretty into biking and tricks and stuff. It’s nice to have a few first aid items on me, just in case.” They spray the antiseptic on Jake’s scraped up palms and knees, smiling sympathetically at his pained hiss. Jake’s phone dings and he sighs when he sees a text from Barclay saying he can’t pick him up tonight. “I’m Hollis, by the way.”

“Jake.”

“Nice to meet you, Jake. If you ever wanna learn how to actually ride that board, just come lookin’. I’m hard to miss.” Hollis says. They grin at Jake, putting a bandage over the worst scrape on his left knee. “There, now you shouldn’t bleed all over me on the way back to your place.”

“I really don’t need the ride, I wouldn’t wanna put you out of your way,” Jake says. People in Kepler are much nicer than he’d anticipated, and he’s still not used to it. 

“I’d hate to leave you injured like this. It’s really no issue. C’mon.” 

“Alright...You sure it’s fine?” 

“Definitely. The real question is, you ever ridden a motorcycle before?”

“I can’t say I have. What do I– What do I do with my board?”

“Just put it on your lap. It’s not too long of a ride.”

Hollis helps him up and to their bike parked out front of the general store nearby. They hop on and start it up, motioning for Jake to hop on as well– which he does gratefully.

The drive is fast, Hollis chatting with Jake over their shoulder through the wind as they make their way slowly up to Amnesty Lodge. The sound of the motorcycle coming through the woods catches the attention of his housemates, and there’s two sets of eyes peeking through the windows to see what’s up. For some reason the idea of getting a ride from a stranger --a very _attractive _stranger_\-- _makes Jake blush. As soon as the bike stops, he hops off, cursing when he’s reminded of his injured ankle. He almost falls over, but Hollis catches him before he loses his footing, propping the bike on its kickstand.

“Hey, man, let me help you inside. You should really ice that ankle.”

“Jake, somethin’ wrong?”

Jake can see and feel Hollis bristle when Mama comes out before they recognize who Mama is (as most kids around Kepler know Mama), and they relax, waving a bit awkwardly. Jake smiles. 

“I’m fine, Mama, just twisted my ankle trying to practice on my skateboard. Hollis here just gave me a ride up.” He says as he steps away from Hollis and over to Mama, who offers an arm immediately. Mama nods, looking Hollis over a moment. 

“Well, thank you, Hollis, I appreciate it. Barclay ain’t come to pick you up today, Jake?”

“He had to pick up a coworkers shift or something, won’t be home ‘til closing tonight.” 

“Damn, I gotta cook dinner tonight then, huh?” Mama chuckles and turns to Hollis. “You’re free to join us for dinner, if you’d like, Hollis. We’d love to have you.” 

Hollis smiles politely as they shake their head. “Oh, well, I’ve got some food in the slowcooker back at my apartment so I’ll have to take a rain check on that but I appreciate the offer.” 

“Alright, that’s fine. Thank you again for helping Jake out.” 

“Yeah, thanks. I appreciate it.” 

“Any time. If you ever want some tips and tricks on using that board, come find me ‘round town.” Hollis goes back to their motorcycle, starting it up. Then they add (with that polite southern charm drilled into most kids in Kepler by their parents), “You have a good night, Miss Madeline. Jake.”

“You too, Hollis.”

“Night.” 

And then Hollis is gone. Jake and Mama watch them leave, and then he turns to Mama.

“…Your name’s Madeline?”

“…Yeah, don’t call me that.”

Jake laughs. “Yeah, it would be weird if I did.”

-

After Jake meets Hollis, he sees them around town a lot more. Not because he’s seeking them out or anything, but because he _notices_ them. Sees them with a group of friends skateboarding and biking around town, or buying smokes from Leo at the general store. He wants to say hi, but he feels embarrassed for some reason. Feels like a little kid-- after all, Hollis is old enough to buy cigarettes and have tattoos and live alone, and Jake is still in high school. He’d just turned eighteen, yes, but he feels younger than he actually is when thinking about Hollis and their friends. 

It’s nice to know that if he does want to talk to them, though, they were right: It isn’t hard to find them at all. 

\- 

“You tryin’ to pick a fight, kid?” 

“Wh-- I-- Wha--” 

Jake finds himself crowded against one of the shelves in the back of the general store one late afternoon after school, a taller teen that he’s seen hanging around town with Hollis towering over him. He blinks up at them, confused, because a moment before he’d been watching Hollis and their crew curiously before going back to work. He hadn’t even spoken to anyone. 

“I’ve seen you staring, you trying to pick a fight? If you’re even thinking about being an asshole to Hollis, I’ll beat you up right now.” 

Jake’s eyes widen. “Wh-- oh, no, I-- I’m not--” 

He fumbles, trying to pick an appropriate response. _I’m not a bigot, just a creep! Just staring and imagining what it would be like to be friends with them! Sorry! I know it’s weird! _

“Keith? We’re leaving, where you at?” 

“Oh! Hey, Hollis, I’m just--” 

“Oh, hey Jake. Keith giving you trouble?” 

Keith steps away from Jake and he relaxes a moment, shoulders slumping. “You know this kid, Hollis?” 

“Yeah? I told you, I know the kid that works here. What’re you doing?” Hollis crosses their arms and pops a hip to the side, raising an eyebrow. Keith looks embarrassed. 

“I-- I was just--” 

“I was just asking for some help with my skateboard, is all. Decided to take you up on your offer.” Jake pipes up, and Keith’s eyes widen, moving to Jake. He looks as flustered as Jake was a few moments ago. Hollis flashes them both a smile. 

“Cool. What time you get off? We can skate around for a bit.” 

“Uh--? Eight..?” 

“Awesome. Keith and I’ll be out front, then.” 

Jake nods, in a daze, as Hollis comes over and slings an arm over Keith’s shoulders. “See...ya...” 

“See ya.” 

-

Despite the rough introduction, after clearing things up, Jake and Keith actually get along quite well. Keith and Hollis and a few of their other friends who work at a local bar called the Hornet’s Nest try their best to teach him to skateboard, but he just doesn’t have the hang of it. When it snow that November and the ski slopes open up again, they’re surprised to see that he’s good at snowboarding. Actually being good at something is a welcome change, and he’s able to relax a bit without worrying about embarrassing himself. 

Turns out that the Hornets Nest crew all thought he’d been much younger than he actually is, since he’s still in school, but no one holds it against him when he tells them the truth of the matter and even offer to help him out with his homework. He’s grateful to have friends, because the transition to living in Kepler was scary, and it’s nice to have a group of peers to hang out with; especially with a large majority of them being queer. It’s something he isn’t quite used to yet. His hometown in northern California was never quite as accepting, and seeing people here in Kepler being so open and accepted, it’s...amazing. 

“Damn, is it really that late already? I missed dinner,” 

It’s nearing nine o’clock, and Jake hadn’t even noticed until he checked his phone and saw texts from Mama. He’d been working on homework while watching movies with Hollis and Keith at their shared apartment, and completely lost track of time. Hollis looks at the clock in the corner of the room and their nose wrinkles. “Ah, shit, it really is late. Keith, what’s in the fridge?” 

“Uhh, I think pizza? Or I think there’s enough for one bowl of Bevin’s mama’s chili left, I was savin’ that for Saturday when you have the closing shift at the Nest.” 

Hollis hums, nodding. They look to Jake. “Leftover pizza fine? I’ll give you a ride back home after you eat.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to feed me, I’ll just reheat whatever Barclay made! The ride would be appreciated, though.” Jake smiles. Hollis just shakes their head and hops up. 

“Nope! You’re eating here. You’re a growing boy, Mr. High School,” 

“Is that what we’re calling me now?” Jake snorts, grinning as Hollis’ cheeks flush. “I’m not that much younger than you. I could get a tattoo if I wanted.” 

“Definitely don’t get a tattoo out of spite, that’s how I got a stick and poke I had to pay a lot of money to cover up on my thigh,” Hollis says with a laugh. “You don’t have to be rebellious to impress any of us.” 

“I don’t think I’ve seen that one yet, you’ll have to show me some time,” Jake chuckles. Hollis rolls their eyes from the kitchen. 

“I take it back. You should _definitely _get a tattoo out of spite. Maybe an ex’s name?” 

"Oh, yes! Or one of those old sailor tattoos with the word mom and a heart around it."

He finishes his pizza and rinses off the plate, smiling at Hollis. They grab the keys to Keith’s truck and they head out into the night. As Hollis parks in front of Mama’s, Jake peeks over and can’t help but laugh; they just don’t look right driving something that’s not on two wheels. It’s winter, though, and their motorcycle’s been put away for the season. 

“What? What you laughin’ at?” 

“Nothing, nothing! You just don’t look like you’re comfortable behind the wheel, is all.” 

“It’s not my favorite thing, but it’s a hellofa lot warmer than a bike. And I’m sure you’re happy you ain’t gotta hold onto me like you do on the bike,” Hollis says, blushing. Jake feels his own cheeks flush as he replies. 

“Well, I-- I don’t mind it. I’m not embarrassed to be the one on the back or anything, and I appreciate the ride...and-- and I know I’m safe with you either way, so...” 

Hollis gives a shy chuckle, brushing a stray strand of hair from their face absently. “Well, good.” 

“Right.” Jake looks away, suddenly flustered. Grabs his bag and jiggles the handle of the door the way Keith taught him, and the door opens with a clunk. He cringes at the noise as he steps out. “Thanks, uh-- for the ride. We still on for after I get out of school tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, sounds-- sounds good. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Drive safe. See ya.” 

Closing the door, he gives a small wave as Hollis puts the truck in drive and turns back down the long driveway. Jake watches the taillights until a gust of wind chills him to the bone and he steps back inside. Like he’d predicted, Moira had heard him open the door and is waiting at the door for him. Mama had gone to bed early, feeling ill with the season change, but when he peeks inside her room to say goodnight she’s awake enough to scold him for worrying her. 

He feels a contradictory rush of joy at how annoyed he is about being fussed over. It’s nice to be worried about. 

\- 

“Hey, you alright? That was a hard fall today.” 

Jake lifts his head from his homework and looks across the living room. He’d finally gotten Keith and Hollis over to Mama’s, though not on good terms; the only reason they’re here, really, is because Keith had taken a pretty big tumble on the ski slopes and the house was closer to where they were than their apartment. But after making sure Keith doesn’t have a concussion, Barclay had insisted they stay for dinner, and so they’re just waiting on that. 

“I’m fine. You don’t have to keep babying me,” Keith snaps, gently nudging Hollis’ hand away from where they’d pressed it against his forehead. Hollis huffs, crosses their arms. 

“I’m only worried because you’re supposed to be the one that does stupid shit and get hurt. Don’t like seeing you hurt.” 

Keith melts, and Jake can’t tell who’s pouting more, Hollis or Keith, but seeing the genuine worry on Hollis’ face makes him smile. It makes him feel happy, seeing how much they care about each other. 

“It hurts like a bitch, if I’m being honest, but I’m just happy I didn’t break a bone.” 

“A trip to the hospital right now sounds stressful.” 

Keith snorts, nodding. “Right? I’d rather die.” 

Hollis smiles, kissing Keith’s forehead, and _oh_. _Oh, they’re dating._ “Let’s be thankful you didn’t, though.” 

Jake watches Keith’s face relax at the gentle kiss, and something in his stomach tightens. He doesn’t know what it is, he hasn’t felt something like this before, but it _hurts_. 

Fuck. 

-

Something weird is happening. 

Jake doesn’t know much about romantic feelings, but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that Jake’s feelings for Hollis and Keith aren’t as platonic as he’d thought. Which is troublesome, considering he didn’t recognize his feelings before he found out they were in a relationship. Things you can’t have, and all of that. It’s _bullshit_. Not only that, but he wouldn’t want to get between Keith and Hollis’ relationship even if he was ready to accept his feelings! He’s not a homewrecker, and he likes being friends with both of them. He doesn’t even want to know what would come of their friendship if he were to make things awkward by confessing he’s romantically interested in the two of them. 

It’s not jealousy-- just _longing_. It’s been a long time since he’s felt anything like this, not since he was...fifteen, probably. 

He’s got a crush, he knows it, and it’s fucking _scary_ because the last time he had an innocent little crush he got the beating of a lifetime. Yes, he knows that he’s not with his father anymore and Mama or Barclay wouldn’t hurt him, but he’s scared nonetheless. What if it’s just a big lie and they’re waiting for him to say he likes Keith and Hollis and then they’ll punish him? Dani hasn’t had a girlfriend in the year and a half he’s lived here, Moira is in the process of leaving for her master’s degree, and Barclay never brings anything up about his relationships. Duck and Indrid have a thing, or at least that’s what it seems like, but then again Jake could just be assuming. Maybe it’s best if he doesn’t--

A hand passes in front on his eyes, and he flinches violently. Dani stands in front of him, concern plastered on her face. He blinks, and when he realizes he’s in the living room, phone dangling from his hand with the screen darkened from lack of use. 

“Jake? You alright, bud? You zoned out there.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine!” 

He smiles at her, and she doesn’t look convinced but she doesn’t mention it again, at least. 

\- 

Just like the first time they met Jake finds himself crowded against one of the shelves of Leo Tarkesian’s general store, Keith’s form looming over him. Jake is the only one in the store, as Leo’s gone home to take a nap and there aren’t any other customers in the store. Jake has to wonder if Keith planned this, so no one can help him out of this situation. Hollis is nowhere to be seen, and neither are any of the Hornet’s Nest crew. “You’re avoiding us.” 

“I-- Wh-- I’m not!” 

“Are too! And it’s getting real annoying, you’re upsetting Hollis. What did we do, huh? ‘Cause they thought you were pretty cool until you started doing everything you could to not hang out alone.” 

The lack of the word ‘_we_’ hurts. There’s no ‘_we thought you were cool_,’ just a ‘_they thought you were cool,_’ and Jake feels the sadness pinprick its way up his spine. Or maybe that’s the boxes of pasta digging into his back. He knows he’d been avoiding Keith and Hollis because of his crush (on whom he still isn’t entirely sure), but he’d thought he wasn’t being obvious about it. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I- I’m not doing it on purpose, Keith!” He says, and that’s a lie. He knows what he’s done. “Look, I’m just picking up extra shifts so I can save up some money, I’m not avoiding you on purpose.” 

Keith seems to buy the lie, however, and he takes a step back, loosening his hold on the apron draped over his shoulders. He gives a crooked grin and Jake’s heart flutters. “Sorry, man. I just-- I guess I overreacted...” 

“Hey, no, I-- I know I’ve been working a lot more the last couple weeks...” Jake mumbles. He brushes off his apron, rubs his back where the shelves were digging in. “I get out of here at four, if you guys wanna hang out to make up for some of the lost time?” 

“Hollis is working until seven tonight, but I’ll be there? I promise I won’t rough you up anymore today.” Keith says, and he sounds embarrassed, but the wording of Keith’s words makes Jake’s cheeks flush. He nods quickly. 

“Yeah, uh-- yeah. I’ll walk over after work.” 

And he does. As much as he really doesn’t want to, he promised and so he goes over to Keith and Hollis’ apartment after he gets off. Keith doesn’t answer when he knocks on the door, so he lets himself in like he has so many times before. He yells for Keith, flopping on the couch. The bathroom door is closed, and music filters out of the crack under the door, and Jake plays on his phone until he hears the bathroom door open. 

“Hey, Mama wants to know if I’m coming home for dinner or staying here--” Jake’s sentence trails off when he looks up and sees Keith standing in the hallway, towel wrapped around his waist. His cheeks flush and he bites his lip, trying to hide it. He looks away from Keith, eyes searching around the room for something --anything-- to look at instead. 

He hopes Keith doesn’t notice. If he does, he doesn’t mention it. “It’s leftover night, so go peek in the fridge and see if you want anything. I’m gonna go get dressed.” 

“Right. Good idea. Uh-- Right.” Jake says, still blushing rather deeply. Keith disappears and Jake scrubs at his face as he realizes he’s stuck alone with Keith until Hollis comes home in three hours. 

He might actually die. 

\- 

“Hey, Jake, look.” 

Humming, Jake lifts his head from his work and snorts when he sees Hollis balancing a screwdriver on their nose. “You’re going to poke an eye out, and you won’t be able to bartend then.’ 

“Can too, I’m the best bartender the Nest’s got.” They stick their tongue out at him as Jake plucks the screwdriver off of their nose and goes back to trying to fix his skateboard. The wheels got loose after his last couple of attempts at trying to perfect staying upright, among other things, and he’s pretty scraped up but Hollis helped patch him up. “I’d be more worried about driving. If I’m blind, then you won’t have a ride and I’m pretty sure that’s half our friendship.” 

They’re teasing, of course. It still makes Jake feel a bit guilty. He smiles sheepishly. “I’ve been trying to learn how to drive, but Barclay says I’m unredeemable. The driving classes are stupid.” 

Hollis laughs, a full-bellied laugh that’s not entirely rare but a gift nonetheless, and Jake’s heart jumps into his throat. 

“Well I guess we’re glad you ain’t leavin’ Kepler for college, we’d all be worried sick at the idea of you drivin’ around all by your lonesome.” 

“Aw, how cute, you would worry about me,” Jake teases, immediately cursing himself because if he’s going to tease they’ll tease right back and he doesn’t know if he can handle that right now, especially with his conflicting feelings. 

“Only a little bit, but don’t feel too special.” 

“I can name the amount of people you worry about on one hand.” 

“That’s false, and we both know it. I just don’t show it.” 

Jake chuckles, shaking his head. He’s honest to god helpless. 

\- 

Jake’s _fucked_. Honest to god, one hundred percent _fucked_. 

_Hollis’ laughter rings through the apartment and Jake smiles brightly. His 20th birthday is tomorrow, but he’s celebrating with Hollis and Keith tonight so he can celebrate with Mama and his family tomorrow. He’s technically not legally allowed to drink, but Keith and Hollis are both 22 and Hollis is a bartender so he’s well stocked with drinks all through the night. The Hornet’s Nest crew had come and they’d had pizza and watched movies, but now it’s just Jake at Keith and Hollis’ apartment, tipsy and trying not to show it. He’s drank before, but never as much as he has tonight. _

_“Keith, I swear if you keep trying to eat the whole party pizza like a taco I’m gonna throw up.”   
_

_“C’mon, Hollis, I wanna see this!”   
_

_“Ugh, I’m taking this away.”   
_

_“Aw, c’mon!” _

_Keith pouts as Hollis takes the plate from Keith, rolling their eyes, and Jake can’t help it. He snorts, shaking his head, and says “I’m so in love with you guys.”   
_

_“Huh?” Keith doesn’t seem offended or affronted, but Jake feels his heart stop nonetheless. He freezes, eyes darting around as Keith and Hollis process his words.   
_

_“You’re in love with us, Jake?” If he was of sounder mind, he would’ve heard the teasing in their voice and not the -- what he assumes is -- anger.  
_

_“I-- uh-- I mean--” Jake jumps up, eyes widening, and shakes his head. “Sorry. I’m gonna--” _

He’d stumbled over his feet as he ran, his head spinning, and he swears he can hear Hollis or Keith calling his name but he doesn’t look back. He’s a mile or two away when he finally collapses to the ground, the cold March air biting at his skin. A terrified whimper tears itself from his throat, and he clutches his biceps through the sleeves of his _way-too-thin_ tee shirt. _Fuck_, he’s so fucking _stupid_! 

He tries not to panic, but he can’t really help it. Too much is running through his head, conflicting and upsetting. He just wants to go home and avoid Hollis and Keith forever, but when he looks up he’d run the compete opposite direction of home; he would’ve been halfway home by now if he had, but he finds himself crouched in front of a church in an unfamiliar neighborhood gasping for breath that doesn’t come. 

He’ll rest just a moment and then go home.

-

Jake doesn’t get to enjoy his birthday with how worried he is. He can tell Mama is worried, because she’d woken up when he wandered in at three in the morning shivering like crazy, but she doesn’t mention anything. Dani seems to know something is wrong, too, and despite trying to avoid the new girl spends the entire night trying to cheer him up with stupid jokes and constantly shoveling snacks to him. He’s grateful, but by the end of the night he’s tired and turns in early. 

As he settles into bed for the night, he checks his phone for the first time all day and finds a few text messages and voicemails from Hollis and Keith. All worried for him, but he doesn’t pay mind to them, fully committing to ignoring his issues for the next few days and then apologize and never talk to Hollis or Keith again. He’s one hundred percent fucked. 

\- 

Avoiding Keith and Hollis appears to be more difficult than he’d thought, because his next shift at Leo’s they’re both there. Maybe not there for him, because they buy cigarettes from Leo’s lane and leave, but they’re there and it sends a jolt of fear through him that lasts the rest of his shift. Jake can’t bring himself to look across the lanes at them, but he can feel eyes on him. 

After that, when he sees them, he ducks into the back room until they’re gone, and he can tell it’s frustrating them because eventually Keith and Hollis take turns coming in and staying longer, in hopes of getting to talk to him. At some point during the week, Jake is checking Dani out with some carrot cake mix and Hollis comes inside, and he actually _begs _her to spend more time in his lane. She’s very confused until she sees Hollis and frowns, turning to Jake and leaning across the counter. “Jake, did you guys get into a fight or something? You haven’t been over to their place in like two weeks and they haven’t been over either. If they did something to hurt you, you know Mama and us’ll make ‘em pay.” 

Jake’s eyes widen and he shakes his head quickly. “No, no-- No! They didn’t do anything, just-- just...please don’t leave right now. Please?” 

“Jake, I-- I really want to stay for you, but Leo’s got those couponers in his lane and so you’re going to have to check out other people.” Dani says. She looks a bit conflicted, but one of the other customers is approaching the checkout and she’s right. He sighs. 

“Alright. I want some carrot cake cupcakes when I get home.” 

“Only if you promise to talk to me about what’s going on. But I need to go.” She takes the paper bag full of her groceries and leaves, and he’s alone. He checks out a kid with a candybar, and Leo is still checking out a family at his lane. Hollis steps up to his lane with an energy drink and some pasta. 

“Hello.” 

“Hey.” They don’t look him in the eyes, and he doesn’t try to get them to. 

“Just this for you?” 

“Jesus, we’re going this, okay--” Hollis mutters under their breath, shaking their head, and Jake flinches. They sigh. “Yeah. Just this.” 

Jake nods, scanning the items. Hollis has a ten ready and they hand it to him, careful not to brush their hand against his in any way. Jake doesn’t pack their things in a bag, knowing Hollis has a reusable bag, which they tuck their groceries in after getting their change back. 

They step away without a word, but before they can fully leave his lane they stop and look down at him. “We should-- We should talk. I mean it. All of us.” 

He nods. “...I-- I’ll text you. Promise.” 

They lick their lips (they’re almost always chapped, especially in the cold seasons), and nod at him, shifting their hold on their bag before they step out. The next customer in line watched the display, and they look at him with raised eyebrows. “Lover’s quarrel?” 

He cringes. “...Sorta. Paper or plastic, ma’am?” 

“Plastic, please, son.” 

-

The park is relatively quiet when Jake walks up. He’s practically shaking with nerves, or maybe it’s the cold. Hollis and Keith are already there, sitting in the bed of Keith’s truck with coffees like they have so many times before. There’s a third cup sitting on top of the truck, and Hollis hands it to him as he climbs up into the truck as well. He stays closest to the edge of the bed, in case he needs to run. Not like Hollis and Keith would let him do that again; especially since there’s an early spring cold streak and they’d chosen the farthest park from home. 

“Hey. Cinnamon rolls in the cab if we can resolve this fast enough for them to still be warm.” Keith says, clearing his throat. Jake nods stiffly. “So, uh-- let’s just get right into it.” 

“Right.” 

“So.” 

Jake swallows thickly. “I-- I just wanna...I wanna say, I don’t want to ruin you two’s relationship. You’ve got something really beautiful.” 

“Right. Thank you,” Hollis says gently. “We understand you were drunk when you said that, too, and being drunk makes people say weird shit--” 

“But it was true.” Jake says, and even if he isn’t looking at either of them he can hear their breaths catch. He swallows. “I-- I like you two...A lot...” 

There’s a moment of silence before Hollis clears their throat and speaks. “I-- We-- You’re a great guy, Jake...” 

Jake nods, trying not to crush the to go cup full of rapidly cooling coffee in his hands. He just wants this to be over already. 

“You’re great, and we-- We don’t want you to think we don’t like you, because we do, we like you a lot. Hollis and I have been talking, and we-- You have to understand, we haven’t really dealt with anything like this. So...” 

“It’s best if we just stay friends right now.” 

“Right. I-- I wasn’t expecting anything. I didn’t even want to tell you guys, I was fine just keeping it a secret forever. I--” Jake runs a shaky hand through his hair. “I’m sorry if this made things...awkward between you two. I promise I’ll leave you guys alone, you won’t have to worry about me making a move or anything, I kn- I-- fuck--” 

“H- Hey, Jake, calm down, bud. We’re not mad or anything--” 

“I know you aren’t, but it would be a lot easier if you _were_.” Jake says, voice cracking, and there are tears in his eyes. He knows Hollis and Keith can see, but they gracefully don’t mention it. “I can deal with getting yelled at, even beat up. I feel like I-- I betrayed your trust somehow?...I’m so sorry.” 

There’s a silence as they process his words. He hands his head in shame. 

“I think it’s best if we just put this behind us. It-- It happened, but we don’t have to think about it too much. Sound good?” 

"Absolutely. Yes. Let’s-- pretend this didn’t happen. Please.” 

It’s not exactly fixed, but at least they don’t hate him. 

-

“Jacob Coolice? _Really_?” Hollis raises an eyebrow, looking at his last name on his driver’s permit. “In the two years I’ve known you, Jake, I ain’t know your last name is _Coolice_?” 

“That’s so fuckin’ cool! How’d you land such a cool name?!” Aubrey leans over the back of the couch, almost about to fall off. Keith is laughing his ass off in Duck’s recliner. 

“I, uh-- I changed it when I left my dad’s house. Forged his signature. Laws are a bit more relaxed back in California, so it was real easy to do.” Jake chuckles. Aubrey falls to the floor with an “oof” and the noise is enough to startle Moira as she passes by. 

Despite fixing things, Jake doesn’t want to push it and so he hasn’t been over to Hollis and Keith’s apartment. He only really hangs out with them if it’s the entire Hornet’s Nest crew, or if someone else is around. It’s seeming to work, and they’re back to their usual goofs and jokes. Maybe they’ll forget about it soon, but it’s still not one hundred percent fixed. 

Right now, they’re at the house waiting for Mama to come back from snowshoe with some sweets that Leo doesn’t stock. Aubrey is blending well pretty well with his friends, and he relaxes 

"But, hey! In about six months, hopefully, I’ll have my license and won’t need rides anymore!” 

“You know we don’t mind giving you rides, but that’s real cool. Hopefully you’re not as bad of a driver as Bevin.” 

He snorts. “Barclay’s taken me out once already, and I can assure you even though I’ve never driven before then I’m a much better driver than Bevin.” 

Hollis hands him his permit back and he tucks it away before Aubrey can snatch it up. They fall into Keith’s lap, and Jake turns away to hide the pain; he knows they’re not doing it on purpose, but it still hurts seeing them and knowing he could do something to make it weird and uncomfortable. Even if what he’d done wouldn’t have made it weird in the past. 

Hopefully things will go back to normal soon. 

\- 

“You coming over tonight? Soup for dinner, probably a Ghibli marathon if I can get Keith to stay awake longer than a few minutes.” Hollis leans across the aisle as Leo checks their cigarettes out, looking bored Keith is home sick, and they’re trying to avoid his whining, as they’d so gently put it (Jake has seen Keith sick, and he’s a monster). 

“Can’t. I’ve got therapy tonight.” 

Hollis looks genuinely shocked to hear that. They nod nonetheless. “Alright. Didn’t know you started going. Good on you.” 

Jake smiles. “Mama’s been gettin’ worried, and her insurance covers it, so I guess so. It’s boring as hell.” 

“Yeah, it can be.” Hollis says with a snort. They take their cigarettes and change from Leo, reaching over to Jake’s till and grabbing the tub of suckers they usually hand out to kids, taking two. “Come on over on your way home, take some of the soup. Keith’s mama makes way too much soup the second that boy so much as sniffles.” 

“We’ll see, my therapist’s an hour away don’t wanna wake you guys if you’re asleep. You want a receipt?” 

The nice old woman that always comes to Jake’s lane so she can get him to help her carry her groceries smiles and shakes her head. “Oh, no thank you dear. Would you mind helping me to my car young man?” 

“Yeah, no problem, Mrs. Jenkins.” 

Jake takes her heavier bags and heads to the door, smiling. Hollis is already there, both suckers in their mouth at once, and holds the door open for them as they leave. They pack the cigarettes into their pockets while Jake loads the groceries into Mrs. Jenkins’ car. She pats him on the back with a smile. 

“Thank you, Jake dear. You know, I see you around town with that kiddo over there and I’m so happy to see youths so in love. You’re a good couple.” 

“O- Oh, we’re-- we-- we’re not dating, Mrs. Jenkins! That’s real funny, though!” Jake stumbles over his words, because he’s positive Hollis heard and he doesn’t want them to think he’s spreading rumors or allowing them to be spread. Mrs. Jenkins just smiles and shakes her head as she gets into her car. 

“If you say so, dear. I know what I see.” 

Jake just makes eye contact with Hollis and gives a small apologetic smile. They shake their head with a chuckle, mouthing “ok boomer” at him and he snorts. Alright. They aren’t mad. 

He wonders absently what Mrs. Jenkins sees in them. 

\- 

Therapy is...nice. After two and a half years of living with Mama and out of the horrible situation he was in, Mama was starting to notice the unhealthy behaviors and tendencies he has and he hates to see her worry. His therapist is nice, and he’s working on his self worth and motivation issues. 

He has not brought up his sexuality, not his attraction to two people at once, because he’s not been quite ready for it. 

...But next time maybe he’ll talk about it because he really needs to vent about how awkward life is with Keith and Hollis, and Dani and Aubrey’s only suggestions are “burn their apartment complex down.”w That is-- that’s what he was planning to do, before Boyd Mosch shows up at the front door and Aubrey has to leave with him or run the risk of getting Mama and Barclay in trouble. After hugging the life out of Aubrey (because in the last year she’s become a friend and confidant, someone he could tell things he didn’t feel comfortable telling Dani), he doesn’t even have the energy to leave the house. Dani is lonely and sad, too, but she has Mama to cry to and so he’s alone. 

There’s a knock at his door and he lifts himself up long enough to open the door, only to be surprised to find Keith and Hollis standing there with their reusable grocery bags full of sweets. 

“Dani called us over?..Said you might be bummed out and need some cheerin’ up.” 

Jake smiles, and steps back to let them in. They haven’t been in Jake’s room before, but they easily find spots on the bed and unpack the sweets. Ice cream, sour candies, and his favorite Jolly Ranchers picked out from the rest of the bag all fall into a pile. He laughs, shaking his head. “You guys are too good to me.” 

“Hey, we may not be close to Aubrey, but we know you are. It’s gonna hurt not knowing where she is and how she’s doing.” Keith shrugs. He pops the top of the ice cream. “And we know you’re skipping therapy tonight, so if you wanna talk about it...” 

Shaking his head, Jake takes a spoon and dives in. Right now, he just wants to pretend his family is all together and not torn up. 

An hour later finds Jake Coolice, eyes red-rimmed and nose red, curled up between Hollis and Keith as the hospital drama they all love plays on his laptop screen. He’s passed out , snoring lightly, and Hollis makes eye contact with Keith as they start to clean up the mess they made. 

“Hey, I think he fell asleep with a Jolly Rancher in his mouth, make him spit it out so he doesn’t choke.” 

“Hm?..” 

“Make him-- never mind, I’ll do it.” Hollis takes a candy wrapper and squeezes Jake’s cheeks until he spits his candy into the wrapper. They toss it into the trash and disappear from the room to put the leftover ice cream in the freezer. They’re surprised to find Dani in the kitchen, eyes just as red as Jake’s and her hair a mess. “Oh, hey...You alright?..” 

Dani shakes her head, scrubbing at her face. “Hey. Don’t worry about me, uh-- I’m not, but that’s alright. You just-- worry about Jake. How is he?” 

“Sleeping, now. Is it chill is we stay the night? I think Keith’s asleep too, and he’s too heavy to lift when he’s dead weight.” Hollis tries to lighten the mood a bit, and that does make Dani smile a bit. 

“Yeah, Mama won’t mind.” 

“Alright, cool. Uh-- Get better..?” Hollis pats her back and turns to leave the kitchen, only to be stopped by a hand on their wrist. 

“Hey...I-- Thank you. Jake’s like my brother, and you guys are really important to him. I know we don’t talk a lot, but I just wanna say thanks for taking care of him.” 

Hollis uses their free hand to pat Dani’s gently, smiling. “Any time.” 

Dani lets go, and they give a small wave as they disappear down the hall and into Jake’s room. The sight inside makes Hollis’ heart stutter, and they smile fondly. 

Keith, usually the little spoon, is curled up around Jake’s limp sleeping form and Jake is laying with a plush seal in his arms. The sight is sweet and if Hollis weren’t so scared of waking the two, they would take a picture. Instead, they make sure Jake and Keith’s phones are plugged in and put the laptop away before turning off the lights and making their way to crawl into the cramped full sized bed. 

-

Jake’s 21st birthday comes and goes, marking a year after he’d accidentally confessed his feelings for Hollis and Keith, and he avoids them this time around mainly because he doesn’t need the reminded of last year’s catastrophe. It’s embarrassing to even remember, and luckily they don’t mention it when he shows up to their house the next morning with a hangover. Hollis just gives him some hangover cures and sets him up on their couch for the day. They have a gentle smile on their face as they sit down and Keith lays his head in their lap. It’s quiet and calm, and it isn’t so awkward and weird anymore. 

He spends more time at the Hornet’s Nest now that he can drink legally, and more and more nights are spent in Hollis and Keith’s apartment, sleeping on their couch. They’ve fallen into a fairly normal routine. They work around each other’s work and family schedules to spend time together, Hollis and Keith help him with his increasing courseload as he starts online schoolwork in between shifts at the general store, and generally spend time together. 

It’s a pleasant kind of normal, and he loves it. 

A hand falls into his hair and he leans into it instinctively. He looks up at Hollis, smiling at how silly they look with their hair up and wrapped in tinfoil. “You sure you don’t wanna dye your hair too? Dark hair might be what you need to spice up your life.” 

“I think I’m good,” Jake reaches up, tugs at the bleach blonde bangs that’ll be dyed yellow once the black is washed out. “I think the fun hair is you and Keith’s thing.” 

“Speak of the devil,” Hollis hums as the to the bathroom opens and steam spills out. Keith, damp green hair dangling over his face. 

“Bathroom’s all yours, Hollis,” He calls over his shoulder as he disappears into the bedroom, and the hand disappears from Jake’s hair. He tries not to look too dejected. 

“You better ‘ve saved me a fuckin’ hot water!” 

A muffled “yeah, yeah,” comes from the bedrooms and Hollis chuckles, making their way to the bathroom. After a moment there’s a loud cures and Keith’s name is being yelled. Jake snorts, smiling, and Keith wanders into the main part of the apartment shirtless. 

“I’m so dead when they get out of there.” 

“That’s your own fault. Aren’t you supposed to wash blues and greens with cold water?” 

“I dunno. They suggest that to make it last, but I’ve been dying my hair for a while.” Keith shrugs and drapes himself on the couch across from Jake. I don’t have any green on my skin, do I?” 

“No, you’re good.” 

“You didn’t even look.” Keith says, and it’s playful, not accusatory, but it still makes Jake’s cheeks flush. He lifts his eyes, scans over Keith’s neck and forehead. 

“You’re good.Told you so.” He sticks his tongue out, leaning back when Keith tries to grab at his tongue, laughing brightly. “I can’t believe you don’t wanna look like a sexy Shrek, though.” 

Keith laughs. 

A few minutes later Hollis emerges from the bathroom only to disappear back into the bedroom, coming back later in a pajama set Jake knows for a fact is Keith’s, and falls onto both boys’ laps, head in Keith’s and legs over Jake’s. 

“How was the shower?” Keith asks, playing innocent as he starts messily braiding Hollis’ freshly dyed black hair. Not for the first time Jake wonders what it could be like to run his fingers through Keith or Hollis’ hair, feel the freshly shaved under halves of their heads. He hasn’t had a shaved head since he lived with his father, and probably won’t try it again, but Hollis and Keith both pull off the half-shaved look (Hollis with an undercut and Keith with his mohawk). 

“Freezing. Thank you so, so much for that, Keith,” 

“You’re very much welcome.” 

“I tried to convince Jake to let me dye his hair,” Hollis hums, and Keith nods along. “He’s look cute with some dark hair, or maybe some blue?” 

“Red might be fun, too,” Keith observes, and the lazy looks paired with Hollis calling him cute has him embarrassed, cheeks dusted pink. Hollis and Keith make eye contact a moment, smiling at Jake, and he smiles back. Maybe if he says yes, he can get them to play with his hair again.

Yeah, things are looking up. 

-

“So, Jake. Sounds like you’ve had a pretty good couple of weeks since you saw me last. This conflict, with your friends, it’s finally smoothing over?” 

Jake, reclined in a chair at his therapist’s office, nods. He’d been explaining his course load and the various activities he’s gotten up to in the last month. “Yeah, the last couple months or so have been really...normal? I think we’ve finally gotten past the, uh-- the confession thing.” 

“That’s good! No ill feelings, no awkwardness?” 

“No! Actually, it’s really nice. We’ve actually been spending more time together and stuff. I’m heading over to their place after this.” Jake smiles. 

“And that anxiety driving, that’s gone now? You can drive on your own all the way here now?” Emile raises his eyebrows, and Jake’s cheeks flush. 

“...Aubrey’s out in the lobby. I-- I’m fine when it’s not snowing, but there are a lot of curves on the way here and I just wanna make sure if I do crash I’m not alone!” 

Emile nods, making a note. “Well, I’m proud of you for driving out here.Unless you wanna talk a little longer, your session is over in about ten minutes.” 

Jake hums, thinking. He ponders talking about his romantic feelings for Hollis and Keith, then brushes that thought aside; he only has a few more minutes, and he’d hate to give Emile a cliffhanger. Maybe next time. 

...Or...

“Actually, yeah. I’ve got something.” 


	2. defeats the point of shutting you out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hollis’ side of the story. Growing up in Kepler, meeting Keith, and then later meeting Jake. Misunderstandings suck, but that’s nothing a proper talk can’t fix and they intend to make that true-- when everyone is ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one last-nameless character is allowed to have the last name McElroy in fics and you know I’m giving that title to Hollis this time mainly so I can make memes. Also, Hollis’ story is much less angsty than Jake’s. I focused mainly on fluff for them.

Hollis McElroy (not related to the local Kepler cryptid, Griffin McElroy, who allegedly turned into a car one night in ‘98-- they were a little under a year old at the time the story ever came about), was is not popular.

This is something they know, and don’t care much about. 

They’re 16, sophomore year in high school, and only has four friends out of the entire school. Their ragtag group gains a sixth member when Keith Connors moves to town and is immediately adopted by the little crew of punks-- he’s bumbling and awkward, and absolutely adorable, but he finds he enjoys the company of these "bad influences" even though his strict parents seem to dislike them. Perhaps he hangs around to be spiteful, but in the end he very quickly becomes one of Hollis’ closest friends. He falls in line with their bantering easily, and is quick to defend any one of their friends if someone wrongs them. Sometimes this is troublesome, which is why he's icing his nose tonight. Hollis gives him a new ice pack every hour or so, though they get rather forgetful as the night progresses and everyone get a bit more drunk. 

“You sure this won’t get infected, Bev?” 

“Positive! I did it on myself! You’re not _scared_, are you, Hollis?” Is idiot 17-year-old Bevin’s response, and the laughter and “ooh” coming from the small group of teens has Hollis’ cheeks burning bright red in indignation. They huff, crossing their arms. They push down their sweat pants, showing off their thighs. 

“Fine. You’re so confident in your abilities, give me Bigfoot then.” They say, taking another swig of their beer they stole from their parent’s fridge. Everyone laughs, but Bevin just gives them a determined look and sets to work with the sewing needles and ink snuck out of his little sister’s craft desk. 

The process is painful, and long, and Keith is the only one really awake other than the people actually actively giving and getting the tattoo by time it’s over. Bevin, not drunk at all because he has church in the morning, heads home afterwards with a smug “take care of it, now, Hollis,” before he leaves. Hollis just flips him off as they wrap their thigh in plastic wrap for the night. This would be the first of many stick-and-pokes they'll receive from Bevin, though it's the largest and most painful. Bigfoot, or rather a crudely shaded sketch of bigfoot in jarringly dark ink, lay along Hollis' thigh, as if walking towards their knee. It's ugly. Hollis knows that, even young and drunk, but they're proud nonetheless. 

“How’d it feel? You alright?” 

Hollis hums. They tuck in in the other three Hornets passed out on their floor, picking up the cans of alcohol and pushing the now-full blue recycling bin under their bed. They’ll crush the cans and sneak them out in a backpack tomorrow before they go to work. 

“Hurts like a bitch, but it looks pretty cool. From what I’ve read online, it’ll stop bleeding soon and I just gotta keep it covered for a bit.” 

“That’s gonna hurt under your pants leg, y’now.” Keith points out, and Hollis looks at their thigh. They’re only in boxers right now, and hadn’t even thought about putting pants back on for the night, at least. 

“Fuuuck, I gotta wear jeans at work. Damn it, Bevin! Convincin' me to get a fuckin' tattoo!” 

Keith muffles his laughter behind his hands so he doesn’t wake the others. Hollis feels their cheeks flush for some reason. They punch his arm, glaring (and maybe pouting but only a little bit). 

“You’re next, for laughing. I’m sure he’ll be _glad _to get another client.” 

“Oh, hell no. My parents would kill me!” 

“Yeah? Well I’m about to, new kid. Get over here!” 

Keith jumps up right as Hollis rushes him, their arms wrapping around his waist, and they wrestle for a little bit, waking the others who either join in or egg them on. They’re all still kind of drunk and their giggles are enough to wake their parents. 

A typical Saturday night for a group of rowdy teens. 

-

"You’re kidding. Right?” 

“I fucking wish,” Keith sits in front of Hollis, arms crossed, looking so fucking _small _it breaks Hollis’ heart. “Mom’s moving back home to Texas, and Dad’s staying here, but I dunno how safe I feel staying with him...I-- I really wanna stay here, Hollis, I-- Kepler is _home_, now.” 

“_Shit_, Keith.” 

“I haven’t had time to find a full time job after graduation, everyone thinks I’m applying for the summer! And I won’t be able to pay rent alone either way, even at the cheapest apartments in town!” 

Keith buries bis face in his knees, and Hollis rubs his back. Despite everything, Keith has become their best friend amongst their small group of friends; even of the friends they’ve had longer than Keith. It hurts to see Keith so upset, and Hollis searches for something -- anything -- to make him feel better. Moving? Fresh out of high school with no intention to go to college, and go straight into the work force? Without friends, Keith won’t survive. 

Then something hits them. 

“Move in with me, then.” 

Keith lifts his head. “Huh?” 

“Let’s get an apartment, you can live with me. I’m full time at the Hornet’s Nest, now, and like even though my parents are fine with me living with them I kinda wanna be independent. Let’s do it.” Hollis grins at Keith. One of their teeth is missing after a fight a few months ago before graduation, and they haven’t gotten it fixed yet. It makes them look younger than they are, despite them being an inch taller than Keith. They bump his shoulder. “It’ll be fun.” 

"Are you sure?” 

Hollis nods. Keith looks at Hollis, looking just amazed at them. 

“Yeah, okay.” Hollis bumps their shoulder back. “Yeah. Let’s live together. 

-

They find an apartment easily enough. There’s a cheap two bedroom they can rent, and even though it’s crowded, it’s _theirs_. Keith works two part time jobs and Hollis starts wait staffing full time at the Hornet’s Nest while going to class during nights to get their bartender certification. It’s nice, mundane, and they usually get weekends to hang out with what friends they have that stayed in Kepler (only about two people besides them and Keith stayed in town, but the others are going to a trade school over in Snowshoe or nearby, so it’s no problem getting together or in contact). 

One such weekend finds Hollis and friends at a tattoo shop in Snowshoe. Hollis and Keith sit across from each other, chatting, while they both get pretty intricate arm pieces. For Keith, it’ll be his only tattoo, but for Hollis it’s the start of their sleeve. They chat amongst themselves and their artists about life when the subject of tattoo cover ups comes up as Keith’s artist begins to cover one of the handful of stick and poke tattoos he’d gotten as a young, dumb teen some time after Hollis' first one a few years ago. 

“Yeah, a lot of kids don’t think about the consequences, but I have seen people come and get them traced over with some real ink to make it look like a better version of the same design.” 

“Really?” 

“Oh, yeah, man. You got any you wanna touch up? Stick and pokes are pretty small, I could probably tack on a couple’a touch ups for an extra twenty bucks.” 

“After you finish this, wanna check out the one on my back? It looks good, just fading.” 

“Yeah, man, sure. How ‘bout you, kid? Got any you need covered up?” 

“Yeah, but mine’s probably gonna need a few sessions. I was drunk enough to get through a pretty big, pretty dark one on my thigh.” With their free hand, they ruck up the edge of their shorts to show the Bigfoot tattoo. Their artist actually has to stop tattooing them because he’s laughing so hard at the tattoo. Hollis’ cheeks burn in embarrassment, but once he calms down he gets back to work, almost finished with the hornet design on their arm. 

“You’re definitely right. You got a design in mind? We can talk about it after we’re done with this, get you set up for appointments.” 

“Yeah, I think I’ve got one in mind.” 

After finishing their tattoos, Hollis spends an extra hour planning and designing their cover up as Keith gets his final touch ups, gets appointments over the next three months to get their tattoo covered up, and while they wait for the others to also get done with their various tattoos or piercings, they watch their group of friends and smile. Two of their friends are going to school to be tattoo artists, chatting with the owner of the little shop they’re getting tatted at. Keith, fresh out of his two year technical school with a new job at a mechanic’s shop, and Hollis with their bartending certification, working just over full time at the Hornet’s nest and on track to inheriting the place when the owner kicks it. It’s-- It’s amazing. 

Their little group of misfits is all grown up. 

-

“Wait, I never got to see you get finished the other day. Did you end up getting a stick and poke touched up?” Hollis asks one night, and Keith raises his head from the stove, where he’s cooking dinner. They’re not much of a cook, so Keith does most of the cooking between the two. 

“Yeah, actually. Stir this for me and I’ll show you?” 

“Oh, sure. One of the ones on your back?” 

“Nah, I just left those be. The one on my chest.” Hollis takes the spoon, trying to remember which one that is, and Keith takes a step back and slips his shirt off. Hollis feels their heart flutter when they finally remember which tattoo Keith had on his chest. 

“I designed that one.” 

Keith grins at them shyly. “Yeah. I really liked the design, and didn’t think a fading stick and poke did it justice.” 

“It looks amazing.” Hollis’ eyes trail over Keith’s tattoo, a simple dog skull over his heart in memorial of his family pet that, in the stick and poke version, looked really messy-- but the touched up version is shaded well and has smooth lines. It’s beautiful, and exactly what Hollis imagined in their original design. 

For some reason, the idea that Keith decided not to cover up a tattoo that they designed makes their heart skip a beat. 

“I know right? Steve hardly had to do much to make it look true to the design. Do you still have the sketch? We should do a comparison.” 

Hollis hums, nodding. “I’ll have to look for it, it’s probably somewhere in my room.” 

“Cool. Now get out of my kitchen, before you burn yourself or something.” 

“Whatever. I’m gonna run to the general store quick, get a pack of smokes. Need anything?” 

“Can you grab me some ice cream?” Keith calls as Hollis pulls on their jacket. “None of that triple chocolate stuff you like, I want cookie dough.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Hollis flips him off on their way out the door, chuckling. “Be right back, love you.” 

Uh oh, that might be awkward later. Slip of the tongue. Hollis steps back inside to apologize, but Keith calls out a “love you” right back, and their cheeks burn bright. They decide to just ignore it and call it an slip up if Keith brings it up later. 

-

Keith doesn’t bring up their awkward “I love you”s but something _does _shift in their relationship. It’s a welcome change, of course, just not...expected? 

“Mom wants to know if you’re coming over tonight. Meatloaf,” 

“Nah, I’ve got an early shift tomorrow.” 

“Alright. Want me to bring leftovers for lunch?” 

“Yeah, sounds good.” Keith smiles as Hollis ducks down, hand falling into his hair. 

“You need a touch up soon, or are you gonna switch colors?” 

“I’m thinking blue next. I’ll have to strip the purple out, though, huh?” 

Hollis hums. “I can help, so you don’t burn your skin with the bleach. I can pick some up tomorrow? I need to go to snowshoe for my next session with James.” 

“Thigh piece?” 

“Yeah, and adding onto my arm too.” 

“Cool, can’t wait to see.”

"Me too. It's gonna look hella."

Keith grins up at Hollis, and it takes a moment for Hollis to recognize how close they are. They lick their lips as they lock eyes, and Hollis decides fuck it, they’re both adults and seem to reciprocate each other’s feelings. If not, they can just talk it out. But Hollis is pretty sure, with the way Keith shudders as they lean closer, that isn’t the case. 

They kiss him, and Keith kisses back, and --well-- they have a partner now. 

-

They fall into a relationship rather easily. Hollis and Keith were practically together in high school, so now that they’re actually together with kissing and stuff, it’s not that hard to adjust to. There’s a lot of talking to be done, nonetheless-- boundaries with intimacy, especially regarding Hollis’ dysphoria, other stuff. Keith is an accepting and sweet partner, though, and Hollis is so, so lucky. Besides the kissing and cuddles, not much else changes. They move Keith’s pillows and blankets into Hollis’ room after the first month and share the bed, and go on “dates” instead of just calling it a trip to Showshoe or Greenbank. Small changes. 

At some point, Hollis mentions perhaps not keeping their relationship strictly monogamous; that makes Keith feel uncomfortable. He avoids the topic, gets a bit snappy, and so Hollis decides to just drop it. They’re fine with only dating Keith, had just wanted to let him know that was an option if he wanted since they knew he had needs they couldn’t always attend to, but that’s the biggest hiccup they have so far. There’ll likely be more, but when that time comes, Hollis hopes they both understand that communication is better than arguing. 

-

There’s a new person in town. He’s staying with Madeline Cobb and working at the general store. He’s absolutely _shit _at skateboarding. 

Hollis gave him a ride home once, and they see him occasionally in the general store, but he seems the shy type and so he doesn’t try to speak to them or their friends. Which is fine. Hollis would like to be friends, maybe, as he doesn’t seem to have many and likes the things they like, but they don’t want to push him. 

Which is why they’re rather surprised to see Keith chatting with the new kid on the way out of the door. Or maybe chatting isn’t the right word-- more threatening him, it looks like. 

“Oh, hey Jake. Keith giving you trouble?”

Keith steps away from Jake and Hollis sees him relax a bit. Hollis frowns. “You know this kid, Hollis?”

“Yeah? I told you, I know the kid that works here. What’re you doing?” Hollis crosses their arms and pops a hip to the side, raising an eyebrow. Keith looks embarrassed.

“I-- I was just--”

“I was just asking for some help with my skateboard, is all. Decided to take you up on your offer.” Jake pipes up, and Keith’s eyes widen, moving to Jake. Hollis looks at them both with raised eyebrows. Keith looks just as flustered as Jake was a few moments ago. Hollis flashes them both a smile, still not confused, but they won’t pass up an opportunity to maybe get to know the kid and embarrass their partner. 

“Cool. What time you get off? We can skate around for a bit.”

“Uh--? Eight..?” Jake stutters, and Hollis smiles. 

“Awesome. Keith and I’ll be out front, then.”

Hollis comes over and slings an arm over Keith’s shoulders, turns him towards the door. Jake seems to relax a large bit, and Hollis pats his back before leaving. 

“See ya.” Once outside, Hollis can’t help their giggles. “Keith, were you _threatening _the poor kid?” 

“I-- I couldn’t help it, I thought he was being a bigot or something! He stares every time we come in!” Keith pouts. They both climb into his truck, tossing their grocery bags in the back. “He’s from out of town, I didn’t know his stance on trans people...” 

“Well I hope he’s fine with ‘em, living with Miss Madeline. Maybe he just has a crush on me.” Hollis says with a snort. They bump Keith’s shoulder. “Thanks for worrying, though. It’s nice to be worried about. But we both know if someone is being a dick I can take care of myself.” 

Keith smiles and bumps their shoulder back. “Yeah. but I still like to be able to be able to say ‘don’t be a dick to my partner.’” 

Hollis snorts. cheeks flushing. “Dork.” 

They’re so in love. 

-

Despite his original tough guy act, Hollis can tell that Keith is fond of Jake. He suggests inviting Jake over just as much as Hollis does, and seems to be happy to help him with homework; Keith was good at science and math in high school, and Jake seems to struggle with that the most. 

“Wai-- Wait, Jake, c’mon now--” 

“Woah--!” Hollis catches Jake right before he falls hard onto the concrete, carefully lowering him to the ground. Keith laughs from his spot recording their session, and Jake glares weakly. “C’mon, I’m trying my best, man!” 

“I’m sure you are, buddy, but I think you’re hopeless.” Keith calls out. He props his phone up against a rock and takes his own skateboard, skating up. “Or maybe it’s Hollis’ teaching. Here, lemme try.” 

Keith pushes Hollis towards the bench, and Hollis allows it, chuckling. They sit down and pick up Keith’s phone, sneaking a few selfies in before turning to record again. Keith is gentle as he teaches, teasing less while helping out, and Hollis forgets to record after a few minutes because the sight is just so cute, like a preschooler reassuring a toddler learning how to walk or a dad teaching a kid to ride a bike. 

Hollis has no idea why, when Keith gets Jake to stay upright, it makes them feel so warm inside. 

-

Since they grew up in Kepler, Hollis knows about Madeline “Mama” Cobb-- Miss Madeline’s a very kind woman, and she’s well respected for what she’s done for the kids in the community. Hollis knows this, and admires and respects everything she’s done; knows that not everyone in town sees her in the same light, sees her as a villain of some sorts. That isn’t the case for Hollis, though. They know Miss Madeline is going what she does out of the kindness in her heart, despite what the other older folks may say. 

Hollis has only ever met Miss Madeline once before, in high school, which is why they’re a bit on-edge when they meet someone that lives with her. They’re just..._intimidated_. Because, honestly, Miss Madeline is a badass, much more than Hollis can ever dream to be. 

Which is honestly why they don’t come inside often, but they suppose they had to when Keith hurts himself out on the slopes. It’s weird, though, because after that Jake starts avoiding them both. Hollis doesn’t get it. They were doing just fine, before. Nothing should have changed. 

“You’re pouting.” 

“Am not.” Hollis doesn’t even look up from their book when they answer Keith. “What makes you think that?” 

“Cause I’m looking at you, dork.” Keith snorts. Hollis smiles, still not looking up. “Seriously, though. What’s making you upset? I can fix it.” 

Hollis chuckles. Finally, they lift their head. “It’s stupid, and I doubt you can. But thanks.” 

“_Hollis_.” Keith says sternly. Hollis hides their face against his shoulder. 

“Fine, fine! Don’t you think Jake’s been avoiding us? He’s always busy when we wanna hang out, and hasn’t been texting us when he’s free. It’s weird, is all, and I’m kinda bummed.” 

Keith hums, rubbing their shoulder. “I guess I never noticed, until you mentioned it, but...yeah, you’re right. That’s weird.” 

“I thought we were really getting along. I like him.” Hollis says. “But I suppose there’s nothing that can be done.” 

“Yeah.” Keith shrugs, noncommittal. Hollis just settles back against him, thinking that’s the end of it. 

When Jake shows up at the house again, Hollis is surprised, but definitely pleased nonetheless. 

-

“You’re definitely having birthday drinks at our place. Perks of having a bartender friend,” Keith says with a grin. “We’ll take care of you, don’t you worry.” 

“As long as I’m back at Mama’s in the morning. She says she has something special, since it’s a little after my second anniversary of staying here.” 

They’d been out on the slopes almost every day this week, since they close for spring next week with the warming weather; when Jake had, off-handedly, mentioned his birthday was the next day, Keith and Hollis and crew were quick to suggest a party.

The apartment is already clean and it seems as though all of their ideas are centered around putting together a movie night after leaving the slopes in a few hours. Nothing too big. Jake doesn’t seem to like to draw attention to himself too much, despite his horrendous fashion sense. Hollis can respect that. Them and Keith both like to get a bit rowdy when they party, but quiet nights are always fun. They just need the right people. Hollis is glad Jake thinks their little band of misfits are the right people. 

“Can’t believe I’m getting put to work on one of my days off,” Hollis grumbles, only teasing. They stick their tongue out at Keith. “Don’t expect anything from me, Keith, you can drink beer like the rest of us. Birthday boy can have a few mixed drinks, though.” 

There are calls of “what about me, Hollis?” and “I’ll tip you if you make me my favorite,” but Hollis just flips them off. Jesus, they don’t have enough alcohol in the house for this. 

They wind down at the slopes at closing time, making their way back to Hollis and Keith’s apartment around eight o’clock as the sun tips back behind the mountains. They try to sneakily order pizza from Pizza Hut so Jake doesn’t try to pitch in, wanting to treat him on his birthday since none of them got him gifts, but somehow a five slips into the pile that no one else had put in, and the delivery guy gets a nice tip. 

Around ten, their small group of seven winds down to four, then three, and it’s just Hollis, Keith, and the birthday boy. 

Jake’s taking it like a champ, all of the drinks he’d been given. Hollis had switched him to beer after a couple of drinks, though Keith tries his hand at mixing drinks, to see if it’s all that hard, and nearly gives the poor thing alcohol poisoning. After one too many too-strong mixed drinks, they decided to just take the hard stuff and put it on a high shelf. Keith is drunk, and when he gets drunk, he gets snacky. Hollis usually keeps a supply of snacks for when they decide to have a few drinks at home, but they’d used most of them for snacks during their movies and so with the pizza gone and snacks empty, Keith had gotten the brilliant idea to make a party pizza. Alright, fine. But Hollis seems to know what Keith is doing before he does it, because--

“Keith, I swear if you keep trying to eat the whole party pizza like a taco I’m gonna throw up.”

“C’mon, Hollis, I wanna see this!” 

Hollis glares at Jake for encouraging his behavior, but that only makes a drunk Jake giggle more. Keith tries, again, to eat his pizza like a giant taco and Hollis groans, reaching for the plate. They’ll slice it normally and give it back. “Ugh, I’m taking this away.” 

“Aw, c’mon!” Keith pouts as Hollis takes the plate from him, rolling their eyes. They’re about to sass him some when Jake snorts. They look over to see him staring at their interaction with adoring eyes, shaking his head. 

“I’m so in love with you guys.” 

Keith tilts his head to the side, trying to process Jake’s words. He lets Hollis take the plate, and Hollis just stands there, smiling, a bit confused. “Huh?” 

“You’re in love with us, Jake?” Hollis teases, leaning against Keith while still holding the plate far enough away he can’t grab it. “That’s cute--” 

“I-- uh-- I mean--” Jake jumps up, eyes wide, and shakes his head. Hollis’ smile drops. “Sorry. I’m gonna--” 

He’s gone before they can say anything else. 

“What the hell?” 

"What was that?” 

Hollis frowns, weighs their options. Should they go after him? No, they should probably make sure Keith doesn’t get into trouble. Jake’ll calm down and come back. They’ll leave the door unlocked for him and hope he comes back, because it’s cold out and he won’t stay out long. 

...Right? 

-

In the morning, Hollis wakes up on the couch, and upon searching the apartment finds a hungover Keith in bed and an empty apartment. Which is...a surprise. Jake should be passed out on the couch right about now, not them, and--

Oh. Right. 

“Did last night really happen?” Keith groans out, seemingly coming up with the same thought at the same time that Hollis does. Hollis falls into bed, nuzzling close to him. 

“I think so. I’m still really confused...Did he-- did he confess to us or something?..” 

“I think.” Keith says, brows furrowed. “‘s weird, he didn’t say which one of us though.” 

Hollis nods slowly, humming. There’s a long moment of silence, before a though comes to Hollis and they lift their head. “Unless he meant...both of us?” 

“Like, at the same time?” 

“I mean, he’s never told us specifically his sexuality. It’s feasible he’s into the both of us” 

“Yeah, but. Like. At the same time?” 

“I guess.” Hollis shrugs. “It’s not unheard of.” 

“Still weird...” Keith mumbles. He looks like he’s having an entire conversation in his head, and Hollis wonders what he’s thinking. “Have you thought about Jake like that?” 

“Like what? Romantically?” Hollis asks, and Keith hums an affirmative. They nod, sitting up a bit to look Keith in the eyes. They see his face shift from neutral to confused to upset, and they sigh. “I have, but I know that you’re uncomfortable with that, since you didn't take to the idea when we first started dating, and I love you so I never brought it up. I know you’d prefer to keep the relationship closed, and wouldn’t go against your wishes even behind your back.” 

“So--” Keith bites his lip, and Hollis watches him carefully. “So, uh...You don’t-- You don’t like me?..” 

“What? No! No, that’s not it at all, Keith. I love you, I just said that. I...We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?” 

-

Their talk isn’t all that bad.

Keith’s still a bit confused about the whole concept, but he’s trying to learn. And he seems open to learning. Perhaps Hollis should have brought it up sooner, and not just let Keith ignore it, but there's nothing that can be done. 

“You’ve never liked two or more people at the same before?” Hollis asks, genuinely curious, giggling. 

A week after Jake’s confession, and he still hasn’t come over or even talked to them when they stop at the general store. Hollis and Keith are trying to talk more about things, communicate better, and that consists of getting a little tipsy in their living room and eating some leftovers from dinner with the Hornet’s Nest crew on a Wednesday night. They’re in bed tonight, a movie playing on their laptop quietly. 

“I dunno! I mean, I-- well-- maybe? I didn’t think that was allowed.” Keith says defensively. His cheeks are flushed bright pink. “Have you?” 

“Oh, yeah! A couple kids in middle school. Sarah Davis and Jean Reynolds, junior year. Sarah Davis and _you, _senior year.” 

“You liked me in high school? Aw, that’s cute, babe.” 

“We’ve been together for three years, Keith.” Rolling their eyes, Hollis rolls off of Keith and whacks him with a pillow (one of the many they have on their now shared bed). “Still. Me liking someone else while dating you doesn’t change how much I love you.” 

“So if you like Jake, you still like me?” 

“Of course. I love you, Keith. And I like Jake, but the way I like Jake is different since Jake is a different person.” Hollis says gently. They bump their forehead against Keith’s, making him giggle. “But I understand that you’d rather keep the relationship closed. You don’t like Jake that way and that’s fine.” 

Keith’s cheeks burn and his giggles stop. He bites his lip. “Would you be mad if I did? Hypothetically, of course.” 

“Of course I wouldn’t. I’ve already told you how I feel.” 

“Yeah?” Keith asks shyly and Hollis hums, but then he frowns. “Even if I did, though, Jake’s clearly not ready to accept his feelings. And he’s still kinda not in a good headspace after everything with his parents.” 

“Right. So even if, hypothetically, we wanted to maybe see if he’d be willing to date the both of us...it’s not a good idea, for his sake.” 

“Right.” Keith sighs. 

“I hope he realizes we aren’t mad at him...” 

Keith snorts, pulling Hollis closer. “Knowing him, he’ll avoid us for a while and then everything’ll go back to normal.” He says. Suddenly he gasps and slaps his forehead. “That must be why he was avoiding us last month!” 

Hollis takes a moment to process, before they laugh brightly. “Man, I can’t wait for everything to be fixed with him so we can tease him about that.” 

-

Hollis hadn’t meant to be at the general store this time around, but they don’t have dinner and Keith’s working late, so they want to surprise him with dinner. So when they see the only option for checkout is Jake’s lane, they feel a bit nervous. Dani is there, looking at them, and Hollis doesn’t have to wonder if Jake is pleading with her to stay because they have two eyes. Dani leaves. A kid goes up to the counter, leaves a minute later with a candybar. Hollis steps up, and sets their items on the carousel. 

“Hello.”

“Hey.” They try not to look at him as they fiddle with their wallet. It’s weird, trying to talk to him. They’d thought it would be easier. 

“Just this for you?”

...And yeah, that’s too awkward. “Jesus, we’re going this, okay--" Jake flinches and they take a deep breath. Let out a sigh. They don't want to upset him. “Yeah. Just this.”

Jake nods, scanning the items. Hollis hands him the money, gets their change, and takes their items. They step away without a word, but before they can fully leave his lane they stop. They look at their feet, looking for the right words, and then over to Jake. “We should-- We should talk. I mean it. All of us.”

He nods slowly, and Hollis . “...I-- I’ll text you. Promise.”

They lick their lips and nod at him before leaving the store. 

A text comes from Jake to their group chat the next day; an apology and a request. 

_ **>>sorry guys. can we meet up tomorrow, maybe? ** _

-

“Now ain’t gonna be mean to him.” Hollis says. They sit criss-cross apple sauce in the bed of Keith’s truck, gripping their coffee cup close to their chest. It’s warming up outside, but mornings are still freezing, and this is the only time they have to meet up today. They all agreed they’ve waited long enough to resolve this. “He’s probably feelin’ real awkward.” 

“Right. We’re gonna let him know we aren’t mad, and that’s it.” 

“So we’re both agreed on the plan?” Before Keith can nod, Jake approaches the truck and climbs in. “Hey. Cinnamon rolls in the cab if we can resolve this fast enough for them to still be warm. So, uh-- let’s just get right into it.”

“Right.”

“So.”

There’s a long pause before Jake speaks up. 

"I-- I just wanna...I wanna say, I don’t want to ruin you two’s relationship. You’ve got something really beautiful.”

“Right. Thank you,” Hollis says gently. “We understand you were drunk when you said that, too, and being drunk makes people say weird shit--”

“But it was true.” Jake snaps. Hollis’ breath catch and they look over to Keith, who looks shocked to actually hear him say it. “I-- I like you two...A lot...”

There’s a moment of silence before Hollis clears their throat and speaks. “I-- We-- You’re a great guy, Jake...”

“You’re great, and we-- We don’t want you to think we don’t like you, because we do, we like you a lot. Hollis and I have been talking, and we-- You have to understand, we haven’t really dealt with anything like this. So...”

“It’s best if we just stay friends right now.”

“Right. I-- I wasn’t expecting anything. I didn’t even want to tell you guys, I was fine just keeping it a secret forever. I--” Jake runs a shaky hand through his hair, looking wrecked. Hollis’ heart aches. “I’m sorry if this made things...awkward between you two. I promise I’ll leave you guys alone, you won’t have to worry about me making a move or anything, I kn- I-- fuck--”

Hollis wants to reach out and comfort him. He’s working himself into a panic attack, and if he doesn’t calm down soon he’ll make himself sick. “H- Hey, Jake, calm down, bud. We’re not mad or anything--”

“I know you aren’t, but it would be a lot easier if you were. I can deal with getting yelled at, even beat up. I feel like I-- I betrayed your trust somehow?...I’m so sorry.”

There’s a beat of silence. Hollis looks over to Keith before opening their mouth to speak. “I think it’s best if we just put this behind us. It-- It happened, but we don’t have to think about it too much. Sound good?”

"Absolutely. Yes. Let’s-- pretend this didn’t happen. Please.” And Jake sounds so grateful for that, so relieved, it sends relief coursing through Hollis as well. They laugh a bit, looking at Keith. And Keith laughs too. And before too soon, Jake is laughing too. He looks so tired, so relieved. 

They get to have their cinnamon roles before they go their separate ways to work. 

-

Hollis can’t believe how absolutely _good _things are going. 

Hollis and Keith are much closer after their many talks. They’re doing good at their jobs, and Jake is doing relatively alright with his schoolwork. It’s so, so good to just be able to relax for once. It’s surprising to hear Jake is in therapy, had started going after their falling out, but it’s a welcome kind of change. Hollis is just happy he’s getting help for some things he really needed help with. 

Which is why Hollis should’ve seen disaster coming from a mile away. 

While neither Hollis nor Keith were ever all that close to Aubrey (she and Keith tend to get into arguments more than getting along), she’s like Jake’s older sister. So when Dani calls Keith from Jake’s phone one night, saying Aubrey had to go home indefinitely and that he could really use some comfort, neither of them can say no. If Jake couldn’t even call them, he must be really torn up. 

So they pack up sweets and make their way to Jake’s with intent to cheer him up a bit. Dani answers the door when they knock, looking thoroughly wrecked. She leads them down the hall and to Jake’s room, leaving them to it. Hollis knocks, and they wait. They're about to knock again, growing concerned at how long it takes Jake to answer the door, when Jake answers. 

“Dani called us over?..Said you might be bummed out and need some cheerin’ up.” Keith says. Jake’s shoulders slump as he opens the door, letting them inside. He’s a mess, but his bedroom is clean, which is...surprising. No only for the situation-- but for Jake in general. Hollis had assumed that Jake would be...not sloppy, but cluttered. But he only has a small pile of clothes in the corner of the room and a couple of things on his dresser. 

It’s so unlike what they'd imagined, and Hollis takes that in as they sit down at the bed. 

A while later finds the bed full and everyone cuddled up to one another. Dani peeks a tired head in the door and smiles at the sight. 

-

When Aubrey comes back to town, Jake (and his entire family, which various friends around town have been helping taking care of) perks up a bit. It’s so sweet to see him so happy; he’s been doing good. He even visits a lot more, now, and has started sleeping over again after the whole confession incident. 

Tonight is one such nights. 

“You sure you’ll be alright driving alone tomorrow?” Keith asks over his burrito. Jake hums, nodding. 

“It should be fine. I’ll drive Barclay’s truck over to your shop, hang around for a few hours, and drive back. I wanna help him out some since he’s bedridden.” 

Apparently Barclay had gotten sick with a pretty bad case of pneumonia, and his doctor had suggested he not leave the house until his antibiotics run out. Mama is pretty stressed out, and so Jake had decided to give her a little less to worry about for the night. He’d also stolen Barclay’s truck, since it needed a tire rotation and Jake wanted to surprise him, and he has a close friend who can do just that. 

“Should be a quick tuneup. Mr. Evans keeps his truck in good shape.” 

"If there’s anything we can do to help him or Miss Madeline out, just let us know, okay?” Hollis says, giving him a look. Jake smiles at them. 

“You guys taking me for the night is already a lot of help. Dani and Aubrey are spending the night with Duck for the night, so the house is empty and they can just relax.” 

“That’s good. How’s Miss Madeline doin’ on those new heart pills?” 

“Good. Doc’s got her on some healthy diet plan, it sucks some, but it’s not that bad.” 

“Well, you ever want some junk you come on over.” Keith says. “We’ve got plenty.” 

Jake chuckles, leaning over to bump their shoulders together, and Hollis smiles at their boys. “I practically live here, I don’t think I could come over more than I already do.” 

-

“Hey, Hollis?” 

“Yeah?” 

They’re in bed with Keith one night, cuddled up and just enjoying each other’s company before they both drift off. Hollis has Keith’s head on their chest, his arms around their waist, and it’s a comforting weight. They’d both been silent for the last fifteen or so minutes until Keith spoke up. 

“I like Jake. Like, really like him.” 

Hollis hums, not wanting to pry. They know Keith will say what he feels when he needs to. “Yeah?” 

“And you still like him too?” 

“Yes, last I checked.” Hollis says, and that gets Keith to laugh. 

“So we both like him, and I’m certain he still has feelings for us...maybe we should start hinting to him that we’d maybe be interested in...y’know...” 

“Opening our relationship up to him?” 

“Yes.” Hiding his face against Hollis’ chest, Keith nuzzles closer to them. Hollis smiles and ruffles his hair. “If that’s something you’re still up to it?” 

“Yeah, of course I am. If we’re both into him, and both wanna see if he’s interested, then I don’t see why we don’t see if something comes of it.” 

“Yeah.” 

“But let’s not rush into it. I know you’re pretty into gettin’ him alone against a wall but he’s still pretty jumpy about the whole situation.” Hollis teases lightly, giving his hair a tug. “Your hair’s gettin’ long again, want me to shave it soon?” 

“Can we dye it again, too?” 

“Yeah, what color?” Hollis hums. Keith lifts his head so his chin rests on their chest, smiling at them. 

“Green should transition pretty well from blue, huh?” 

“Yeah, I can do that. I’ll mix it with the leftover blue and some of my yellow?” 

“Yeah, sounds good. Wanna see if Jake wants to come over while we do it? Order takeout?” 

Hollis hums. “Yeah, sure.” 

Things are gonna get better with Jake real soon. Hollis knows it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this, comments/kudos are much appreciated! Share it to someone who might also like it, it'd make my day <3


	3. What the hell did I used to do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith’s story. How he meets Hollis, starts dating them. How Jake comes into his life. How Keith struggles with his own identity.

In tenth grade, Keith’s parents drop the biggest bomb on him. 

“_Moving_?” Keith looks at his parents incredulously, shock and anger mixing in his veins. “We’ve lived here for my entire life and you just wanna fucking make me _move_?” 

"Keith, don’t curse at us. We understand it’ll be a hard move--” 

“You want to move me halfway across the country when I graduate in two years! I won’t have any friends!” Keith snaps. He crosses his arms. “Fuck this. I’m not doing it!” 

“We have to for your father’s work, Keith. Come on, now.” His mother says, pleading with him. “There’s no changing it.” 

“Fuck you guys, I hate you!” 

...That was a month ago. Keith, now, sits alone at lunch at Kepler high school, watching an interesting group. There’s five of them, all from various backgrounds that Keith’s never experienced before. He’s not sheltered, it’s just that growing up in Texas kept him away from a lot of things and he didn’t know that using they/them pronouns was something that some people do until he was introduced to Hollis McElroy when he comes to Kepler. Hollis lives two blocks away from his house, they go to the same church as Keith and his family, got introduced after the sermon. Keith’s parents had, originally, been appalled at this kid’s wild cut and color, and their style, but Keith was instantly in love. Even though he has to learn how to properly use their pronouns, he’s a quick learner. 

Still so, he’s not exactly friends with them. He just sits near them at lunch. and In geometry. And they give him rides to school.

\--okay, maybe they’re friends. Keith just hasn’t figured out the whole relationship dynamic. 

“Keith, you wanna stay over tomorrow night? The rest of us are plannin’ on getting drunk and watching movies at Hollis’ place.” 

Keith lifts his head with a smile. “Yeah, uh-- I’d have to ask my parents, but I’m down!” 

“Just don’t tell them about the drinking part. That might get you in trouble!” 

“Or do. I hear people around school like bad boy punk types,” Hollis winks at him, points out a handful of girls watching their small group from across the lunch room. Keith’s nose wrinkles. 

“Ah, I don’t think they’re my type.” 

“Needy wannabe’s?” 

“Girls.” 

There’s a shocked look amongst the group, and Keith is confused. Of all the people, he thought they’d be approving. 

“What?” 

“We thought you were straight, is all. Gay, then?” 

Keith’s cheeks burn. He...doesn’t honestly know. Just knows none of the girls in his classes, both in Texas and now Kepler, never quite interested him. He’s still...looking for options. “I dunno. Maybe?” 

“Well, we won’t judge you for anything. We’ll support you, buddy.” 

There’s pats on his back as he’s teased. He smiles. Alright, maybe he’s got some great friends. 

-

...He can’t believe this is happening again. 

“You’re-- You’re kidding, right?” 

Keith sits across from his parents on the couch, eerily similar to what they did two years ago. Fresh off of the graduation stage, his parents pulled him away before any of his friends could drag him to parties, and gave him the worst news of his life so far. 

“Keith, surely you’ve seen this coming...” His mother says, sounding tired. “I have two plane tickets back to Texas, should you want to come with me.” 

“He’s going to stay here with his weird friends and you know it, Elaine,” His father snaps. His mother rolls her eyes, crossing her arms, but that only aggravates his father even more. “Hey, it’s not my fault I know--” 

Keith’s eyes well with tears and he groans, tugging at his hair. He jumps up, storming out of the house, and he doesn’t even stop when his parents call after him. 

He runs wherever his feet carry him, his eyes tearing up a bit. He doesn’t even know where he goes until he’s on Hollis’ doorstep. It’s a familiar doorstep by now. The wood of the porch is well-loved and softened, pale yellow paint chipping from wear. Hollis’ mother Anne answers the door and, upon seeing his pained face, pulls him into a hug. 

“Hey, now, Keith dear what’s wrong?” 

“I-- Is Hollis here, Anne? I need someone to ta- talk to,” He says, barely able to contain his emotions. He won’t cry, at least not in front of an adult. But he can’t help himself when he tears up even thinking about having to tell Hollis and everyone about leaving. 

“Yeah, of course they are! Up in their room, admiring their diploma. Go on up, do you need anything? Tea? Coffee?” 

Keith forces a smile as he frees himself from Anne’s hold. “No, I-- I’ll be fine. Thank you, Anne.” 

Keith disappears up the stairs, barely able to conceal his shaking. Hollis, almost immediately upon his entering the room, pulls him onto their bed and listen to his woes. Keith expects nothing but an ear to listen to, but what he gets is something better. 

Hollis gives him a chance. 

-

Tattoos fucking hurt. That’s what Keith learns. Not as much as the shitty stick-and-pokes but enough for him to not want any more after his arm piece. His chest didn’t hurt too much, and it was worth the happy look on Hollis’ face when they see their design, how they wanted it to look, it’s worth it. When his dog Addie died when he was seventeen, he was devastated and Hollis had designed the tattoo for him. He’d meant to wait, get it done for real, but Bevin offers to do it for him as practice, and so he got it then. Very luckily, he was able to get it touched up and how they imagined it, because it’s a cute little reminder of his puppy. 

He’s still not getting another tattoo though. 

Doesn’t mean he isn’t going to admire the added work onto Hollis’ skin. He loves getting to see the ink go on, feeling the healing skin bump and glide against their skin. Their arm piece is coming along nicely; the bees, dragonflies, and various foliage look beautiful. Keith could look at it all day. The thigh piece is a bit more intricate, a tree to cover their horrible Bigfoot tattoo. That one’s new-- just started last session. Keith is obsessed with what’s been added so far. 

Keith finds his eyes trailing the ink on their shoulder a moment, their hand tangled in his hair and they’re talking normally but he can’t seem t get his heart to stop beating so fast. When they kiss him, his heart feels like it might burst. He'd been crushing on them for a while, and it’s honestly a dream come true. 

“So...we should probably talk, huh?” 

Keith chuckles, reaching up and pulling Hollis into another kiss. “Yeah.” 

-

“Come on, Keith, can you at least talk to me?” 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Keith closes a tab on his phone as Hollis sits down on the couch next to him, though he doesn’t look up at them. “Can’t we just leave it, Hollis?” 

Hollis sighs, looking frustrated. “I just wanted to bring it up. Your parents raised you different than mine raised me, I get it. We don’t have to talk about it again, if you don’t want, but can we still talk?” 

“I just don’t get it, is all. I’d rather...I’d rather not.” Keith says. “I don’t think I’d ever date more than one person, feels like cheating to me.” 

“Like I said, I just wanted to give you the option.” Hollis says, looking hurt by that. “But it’s not like cheating at all. Of course, if we aren’t both comfortable with an open relationship that’s fine. We don’t have to bring it up again.” 

Keith nods slowly, watches the hurt in Hollis’ face morph into exhaustion before they hide both of those emotions. 

“We good? Not breakin’ up or anything?” 

Smiling curtly, Keith nods. “Not breakin’ up. Promise.” 

“Alright. I’m gonna go shower.” 

“I’ll make dinner in a few. Spaghetti tonight.” 

“Awesome. I’ll be right back.” 

Hollis disappears into the bathroom, and Keith reopens his google tabs full of research. He’s been trying his best to understand the last couple of days since their fight, but it’s just no use. 

Keith’s never really felt that way about more than one person at a time before, and doesn’t expect that to change. But maybe after a bit more reading he’ll at least understand. 

-

There’s a new person in town. 

Keith doesn’t know how much he likes him. 

The kid --or, well, he looks like one, but apparently he’s eighteen-- stares at their small group whenever they’re in the general store or around town. Specifically at Hollis. While he doesn’t mind some people admiring his partner’s looks (he had himself, before becoming friends with them), he doesn’t know exactly how he feels about this Jake fellow. His staring seems a bit excessive. A nice, calm conversation should calm his worries. 

“You tryin’ to pick a fight, kid?”

“Wh-- I-- Wha--” The kid’s eyes are wide as he stutters out a response, but Keith continues to crowd him against the shelves, holding his collar. 

“I’ve seen you staring, you trying to pick a fight? If you’re even thinking about being an asshole to Hollis, I’ll beat you up right now.”

“Wh-- oh, no, I-- I’m not--”

“Keith? We’re leaving, where you at?”

_Shit_. Hollis might not like to see this. 

“Oh! Hey, Hollis, I’m just--”

“Oh, hey Jake. Keith giving you trouble?”

Keith steps away from Jake, wanting to seem like this conversation is normal. Because it totally is. “You know this kid, Hollis?”

“Yeah? I told you, I know the kid that works here. What’re you doing?” Hollis crosses their arms and pops a hip to the side, raising an eyebrow. Keith looks embarrassed. 

“I-- I was just--”

“I was just asking for some help with my skateboard, is all. Decided to take you up on your offer.” Jake pipes up, and Keith’s eyes widen, moving to Jake. The kid gives him a look that says _“trust me”_ and Keith has no other option, really. 

“Cool. What time you get off? We can skate around for a bit.”

“Uh--? Eight..?”

“Awesome. Keith and I’ll be out front, then.”

Hollis’ arm wraps around him, and they say their farewells, and something about this makes him feel small and embarrassed. He’s never going to live this down. He just wanted to help Hollis. 

“Keith, were you threatening the poor kid?”

“I-- I couldn’t help it, I thought he was being a bigot or something! He stares every time we come in!” Keith pouts. They both climb into his truck, tossing their grocery bags in the back. “He’s from out of town, I didn’t know his stance on trans people...”

“Well I hope he’s fine with ‘em, living with Miss Madeline. Maybe he just has a crush on me.” Hollis says with a snort. They bump Keith’s shoulder. “Thanks for worrying, though. It’s nice to be worried about. But we both know if someone is being a dick I can take care of myself.”

Keith smiles and bumps their shoulder back. “Yeah. but I still like to be able to be able to say ‘don’t be a dick to my partner.’”

Hollis snorts. cheeks flushing. It’s absolutely adorable. “Dork.” 

Keith leans over and kisses their cheek. “Your dork.” 

The soft giggle he receives from Hollis is enough to make his heart melt. Yeah, alright, he won’t live this down, but he doesn’t think he’ll mind much. 

-

“Hey, uh-- thanks for saving me back there. I appreciate it.” 

Hollis is showing off a few tricks for them, and so Jake and Keith are sitting at a bench, watching. For Keith, this is something they’re used to. Jake watches them in awe, however; he’s trying to learn from observation, though he’s shown himself to be helpless. 

Jake hums, confused. “Saving you?” 

“That helping you with skateboarding excuse. You could’ve tattled on me.” 

Jake fiddles with his bracelet, smiling shyly. “If I did, I might not have gotten to actually hang out with you guys. I’ve been meaning to ask for help, anyway. You guys are way better at skateboarding than I am.” 

“Yeah, that’s not a surprise.” Keith says, snorting. “I’ve seen your form. You’re pretty bad.” 

“Hey! I’m not that bad!” 

Keith laughs at Jake’s indignant response, ruffling his hair. Jake leans away from the noogie, laughing, and something flutters in Keith’s chest that he hasn’t felt since he met Hollis. 

He’s a bit startled at that, but the feeling goes away almost as soon as it comes and Keith just tells himself to ignore it. 

-

“I don’t understand this. I can’t.” Jake groans, running his hands through his hair. Keith and Bevin are trying to coach him through Biology, but nothing is working. He just isn’t understanding it, and while Bevin is growing frustrated, Keith thrives off of this stuff. 

“It’s not that hard, though, Jake! I graduated three years ago, I still have a fresh mind. You just have to--” 

“I don’t think yelling is gonna help any, Bev. You go help Hollis in the kitchen, I’ll get this.” Keith says, gently pushing him up from the couch and Bevin gets up, rolling his eyes. Keith slips into the spot next to Jake, grinning. 

“Hey, if you get done with this, tomorrow we can go to the slopes and work up a sweat, huh?” 

Jake gives Keith the first smile he’s had all day, and Keith smiles back. Pats his thigh and gets to work teaching him. 

-

Something weird is happening. 

Keith doesn’t notice at first, but it’s bugging Hollis, and so Keith needs to find a way to fix it. 

Why is Jake avoiding them? He’s been acting weird, lately. Which is why Keith finds himself in a familiar position, crowding Jake against the shelves of Leo’s general store. He hadn’t planned for the store to be empty during the confrontation, but it’s a lucky catch. 

“You’re avoiding us.”

“I-- Wh-- I’m not!” 

Keith glares at Jake, tightening his grip ever the slightest. “Are too! And it’s getting real annoying, you’re upsetting Hollis. What did we do, huh? ‘Cause they thought you were pretty cool until you started doing everything you could to not hang out alone.” 

Keith tries to sound distant in it all. He’s hurt, too, but Hollis is even more hurt and he needs to fix it for _them_. He isn’t sure why it fills him with guilt to see Jake’s face drop. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I- I’m not doing it on purpose, Keith!” Jake pleads. He looks so weak, so earnest, and Keith melts. He didn’t mean to hurt his feelings or anything.. “Look, I’m just picking up extra shifts so I can save up some money, I’m not avoiding you on purpose.”

Keith takes a step back and gives Keith a crooked grin. He pats Jake’s shoulder. “Sorry, man. I just-- I guess I overreacted...”

“Hey, no, I-- I know I’ve been working a lot more the last couple weeks...” Jake mumbles. “I get out of here at four, if you guys wanna hang out to make up for some of the lost time?”

“Hollis is working until seven tonight, but I’ll be there? I promise I won’t rough you up anymore today.” Keith says, rubbing at his neck awkwardly. His smile grows as Jake gives him a weak smile in return. 

“Yeah, uh-- yeah. I’ll walk over after work.” 

Keith nods, steps away with an apology, and then he’s gone. His heart doesn’t stop pounding for almost an hour after the confrontation. It’s weird. He’s fought people for Hollis before, with much worse outcomes. So why does he feel this way right now? 

Once he calms down enough, he hops into the shower, blasting music. He doesn’t hear Jake come in until he steps out of the shower, but he gives a small wave as he disappears back to the bedroom. He changes quickly, coming back to the living room without a shirt. He notices Jake’s cheeks burning and smirks. 

“Like what you see?” 

“Sh-- Shut up,” Jake stutters out, and Keith laughs. 

“You staying for dinner?” 

“Yeah, that soup you have in there looks good.” 

“Ah, that’s been there going on two weeks now. Probably a bad idea.” Keith’s nose wrinkles. Jake winces. “We’ve gotta get better at cleaning out the fridge.” 

Jake snorts. The fond smile on his face makes Keith’s heart stutter. 

“Maybe just a bit. Mama’s worse, though. The only reason we haven’t been poisoned is because of Barclay.” 

“Well, I’m glad that’s not the case. Hollis and I would be very upset if you disappeared from our lives because of a severe case of food poisoning..” 

There’s a small moment of silence, and Keith looks up from his phone with a frown. Jake looks hesitant. “...The both of you?” 

“Of course. Why _not_ both of us?” 

“Well-- the-- the...you said earlier, it was just...Hollis...” 

“Oh. Oh, _Jake_\--” Keith cringes. Alright, maybe he should’ve worded himself better earlier. “Hollis and I both think you’re a great guy, and we were _both _worried when you started not talking to us.” 

“You...You were?” 

“Of course. You kinda just disappeared on us.” Keith says. Jake looks like he doesn’t believe it. “I’ll promise to try and show it a bit more if you promise to not run off so easy, deal?” 

Jake laughs, smiling shyly, and Keith’s heart stutters. “Deal.” 

...Fuck. 

-

Wait-- When did-- Your birthday is today?” 

“Tomorrow. I’m celebrating with Mama and them tomorrow night.” Jake says. They’re yelling to each other as they go down the slopes, dodging trees and jumping ramps, but once they reach the bottom of the slope they all stop, staring at Jake with wide eyes. How long have they known Jake and they didn’t know his birthday? The entire group is all for big celebrations, they would have a party ready for him if they knew beforehand. 

Panting, Keith leans against a tree, watching Jake kick off his board and plop down into the snow. Hollis has a lopsided grin when they make eye contact with him, and Keith grins back; Hollis has a plan. 

“Well, Jake, we’d be happy to help you celebrate before you have your family party. If you’ll let us.” Hollis says. 

“Pizza, beer?” Bevin offers up, raising an eyebrow. Jake looks between them all, shocked. 

“Well I-- I guess so...” 

“Great!” Hollis slaps Jake’s back and he nearly falls face first into the show, causing more laughter from the group. 

“You’re definitely having birthday drinks at our place. Perks of having a bartender friend,” Keith says with a grin. “We’ll take care of you, don’t you worry.”

“As long as I’m back at Mama’s in the morning. She says she has something special, since it’s a little after my second anniversary of staying here.”

They continue to tease each other all throughout the day and then the evening, and by time twelve o’clock comes he’s tipping on the edge of too drunk. The apartment is empty save for those renting and the birthday boy, and the apartment is full of delighted laughter as Hollis tries to steal his food from him. Words slur, but he does hear Jake’s quiet, loving, “I’m so in love with you guys.” 

And then silence. Keith tries to sit still so his head stops spinning. “Huh?” 

“You’re in love with us, Jake?” Hollis teases. Keith reaches up for his plate. “That’s cute--”

“I-- uh-- I mean-- Sorry. I’m gonna--”

Keith watches Jake rush out, still trying to process his words. 

“What the hell?”

-

When Keith wakes the next morning, his mouth feels like it was shoved full of cotton. He, luckily, doesn’t have a headache, and there’s water waiting for him in the bedside table. Hollis isn’t in bed, but he can hear them moving around. 

He’s just about to yell out to them when he remembers Jake’s words with much better clarity and he groans. “Did last night really happen?” 

Hollis falls into bed, nuzzling close to him, and he cuddles close thankful for the human contact. “I think so. I’m still really confused...Did he-- did he confess to us or something?..” 

“I think.” Keith murmurs. “‘s weird, he didn’t say which one of us though.” 

Hollis nods slowly, humming. There’s a long moment of silence, before they lift their head and Keith watches with raised eyebrows. “Unless he meant...both of us?” 

“Like, at the same time?” 

“I mean, he’s never told us specifically his sexuality. It’s feasible he’s into the both of us” 

“Yeah, but. Like. At the same time?” 

“I guess. It’s not unheard of.” 

“Still weird...” Keith mumbles. He thinks back to Hollis’ open relationship proposal, thinks about Jake. He’s still wrapping his head around the idea, but he’d been thinking about giving it a try. He hasn’t thought about Jake like that though. At least he doesn’t-- or-- okay, fuck. _He doesn’t know, damn it._ “Have you thought about Jake like that?” 

“Like what? Romantically?” Keith nods. When Hollis doesn’t answer right away, his eyes give away his emotions and their face softens. “I have, but I know that you’re uncomfortable with that, since you didn't take to the idea when we first started dating, and I love you so I never brought it up. I know you’d prefer to keep the relationship closed, and wouldn’t go against your wishes even behind your back.” 

“So--” Keith bites his lip. He doesn’t think he can handle this much right now. “So, uh...You don’t-- You don’t like me?..” 

“What? No! No, that’s not it at all, Keith. I love you, I just said that. I...We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?” 

Keith swallows. “Yeah, uh-- Yeah. But...can we have breakfast first?” 

-

Keith...still doesn’t know exactly how he feels. 

He has to admit, he feels things for Jake. Romantic things. And it’s scary, because he doesn’t want Hollis to think he doesn’t love them anymore because he likes Jake too-- that would be normal to assume, at least to someone that’s not Hollis. But Hollis seems to understand this emotions thing much more than Keith does, and their understanding is helpful. 

_God_, he loves Hollis. He just wants to make them happy-- in any way possible. And he knows that Hollis feels the same for him, even if sometimes he worries, but Hollis would never do anything to hurt him. 

That doesn’t mean he still understands his feelings because this is all so new to him, but he’s willing to learn and try this. When everyone is ready. 

Hollis likes Jake. Keith likes Jake. 

He just...wishes this were easier. He doesn’t do good with the whole talking thing-- now, fighting and confrontation he’s good at. Hollis has always been better at that. Never wanting to fight, even when people are being terrible to them; they always said talking is better than fighting, but Keith finds that a swift punch in the face works best. 

Maybe it’s not the best idea to punch Jake, though. A talk will have to do. When he comes around, that is. 

Lord knows it’s long overdue. 

-

_God_, this is so awkward. 

Jake’s eyes water as he apologizes, hands shaking in the cold or perhaps from emotion. Keith watches and he just wants to stop him before he actually starts crying, but he doesn’t know how. Jake just keeps apologizing, and apologizing. Keith wants to snap at him to just be quiet and let everything go back to normal, but Hollis’ presence at his side calms him down a bit. They eat their cinnamon rolls in the bed of the truck and Jake heads off for his next shift at the general store. Hollis has to go open the bar in an hour, but until then they’ll just sit here. 

“Well that was a bit of a shitshow.” 

Hollis laughs, leans over and kisses him. “You did great. I think we’ll get back to normal soon enough, don’t you?” 

“Hopefully. You guys did most of the talking though.” 

“That’s fine by me, you have a tendency to threaten the poor kid.” Hollis snorts, and Keith’s cheeks flush. They don’t know about the last time he did just that, and hopefully won’t. Hollis leans their head against his shoulder. “You two's relationship is special. But you...You understand each other better than you might think.” 

“Hm?” 

“Yeah.” Hollis smiles. 

“How so?” 

“You both have a lot on your shoulders, is all. Need to please, make things better. Daddy issues.” 

Keith can’t help but laugh at that. He looks at Hollis, who smiles up at him from their position leaning against him, and smiles back. “You got that right, I suppose.” 

“I just hope you two’ll be able to talk about things I don’t understand. When things get better between us all.” 

“Right.” 

The idea is actually really nice. 

-

Laughter sounds around the apartment, and Keith listens to it happily as Hollis and Jake bake in the kitchen. Hollis had a stupid grin on their face when they pushed him out of the kitchen. They won’t tell him what they’re making, and after last time he tried baking, he probably won’t be allowed in until they’re finished; cooking is his specialty, not baking. 

Hollis’ phone dings in the kitchen, and Keith can hear their groan from where he’s shaving in the bathroom. He pokes his head into the hall. 

“Hol? What’s up?” 

“New kid at the Nest needs help, they need the manager.” Hollis comes into view, stepping into the bathroom to pull their hair into a bun and put in their contacts. “I should be back in twenty, maybe forty if the Karen I have to deal with is an asshole.” 

Keith snorts. He rinses off his face in the sink, hands Hollis their contact case; they only ever wear glasses at home, even though he tells them they look attractive in them. They kiss his cheek in thanks and quickly put in their contacts before they disappear from the room. Keith follows them as they make their way back into the hall, slipping on their serving shoes, and Keith leans against the wall. 

“Need me to help Jake out in the kitchen?” 

“I’ve got it! I know my way around your kitchen, and we’re almost done!” Jake calls out, and Keith rolls his eyes, smiling fondly. 

“Want me to get some food? Dinner rush is almost over, once I get finished calming everyone down they should be pretty empty.” 

“Only if it’s not too busy. Don’t want you to get dragged into working ‘til close because you’re there already.” 

“You know I can never resist.” Hollis grins lopsidedly at him. “But I’ll try. I wanna be able to eat what I made. Now I gotta go, bye!” 

With another kiss to Keith’s cheek, Hollis disappears and Keith is alone with Jake for the first time since they made up. Keith wanders back to the living room, smiling fondly, and plops down on the couch right as Jake comes from the kitchen and does the same. 

“Maybe _you _can tell me what this surprise is? Since Hollis won’t?” 

“That would betray their trust _and _ruin the surprise.” Teases Jake, winking at him. Keith’s cheeks burn. “I’d like to stay on their good side, this time around.” 

“Right. It’s probably best you do. I quite like to see them happy,” Keith says. “You seem to be a part of what makes that happen.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I hope you’re happy, too, Jake. You deserve it.” 

Jake smiles shyly at Keith, who smiles back. “I am. My therapist is helping out some, and Mama and them. You guys too.” 

“Good. I’m glad.” 

They fall into a comfortable silence for a while, until the front door opens and Hollis comes in, just as the timer on Jake’s phone goes off. The apartment is starting to smell like cinnamon, and Keith peeks into the kitchen as Hollis and Jake pull out the surprise and he grins. 

“Banana muffins?” 

“Barclay’s recipe, the ones you liked so much.” 

“What’s the occasion?” 

“Well, your birthday’s next week, and since I have a closing shift then, I got Jake’s help to surprise you.” Hollis grins, pulling a to-go box from behind their back and setting it on the counter. “Your favorite meal from the Hornet’s Nest, Barclay’s famous banana cupcakes, and video games sound good?” 

Keith’s heart aches at the sight, and he grins at Hollis and Jake’s hopeful looks. They’re so fucking adorable. 

_God_, he’s so lucky. 

-

Their show pauses, and Keith lifts his eyes to Hollis, smiling at them softly. He’s exhausted, but Jake’s finally asleep. Which Keith is halfway to doing as well when they speak up, though their voice is pretty far away now. 

“Hey, I think he fell asleep with a Jolly Rancher in his mouth, make him spit it out so he doesn’t choke.”

“Hm?..”

“Make him-- never mind, I’ll do it.” Keith watches lazily as Hollis pops the candy from Jake’s mouth, smiling softly. His eyes close, and he curls closer around Jake’s sleeping form, mainly just because he’s cold; they’d fallen asleep above the blankets, but he doesn’t wanna move himself or Jake.

Hollis comes back, and he can hear them coo, but only buries his face closer into the pillows as Hollis pulls the blankets out from underneath and over them. There’s movement around the room before the lights turn off and there’s weight on the other side of the bed. A hand reaches over and grabs his, and he takes it, squeezing. 

“You were awake the whole time, weren’t you?” 

“Maybe.” 

“I hate you.” 

“You love me.” 

Hollis snorts, squeezing his hand back, and Keith drifts off with a grin. In between them, Jake has a fond smile on his lips, still asleep. 

-

“Hey, Hollis?”

“Yeah?”

Keith swallows thickly. He’s been waiting, thinking intently about this since his birthday; that little surprise had his heart beating like crazy for hours afterwards, and every time they interacted after that. And he knows Hollis feels the same--

Still, it’s scary to admit his feelings for someone _other than _his partner _to_ his partner. 

“I like Jake. Like, really like him.”

Hollis hums. “Yeah?”

“And you still like him too?”

“Yes, last I checked.” Hollis says, and that gets Keith to laugh. He looks down at where they’re leaning against his shoulder, smiling. 

“So we both like him, and I’m certain he still has feelings for us...maybe we should start hinting to him that we’d maybe be interested in...y’know...” _How the hell do you say it? _

“Opening our relationship up to him?” _Ah. Like that. _

“Yes.” Keith hides his face against their chest and nuzzles closer to them, frustrated he can’t find the words, and Hollis ruffles his hair. “If that’s something you’re still up to?”

“Yeah, of course I am. If we’re both into him, and both wanna see if he’s interested, then I don’t see why we don’t see if something comes of it.”

Keith breathes a relieved sigh. “Yeah.”

“But let’s not rush into it. I know you’re pretty into gettin’ him alone against a wall but he’s still pretty jumpy about the whole situation." 

Keith rolls his eyes and starts to retort, but Hollis is quick to sass him back; the quiet calm of their banter feels like home, feels safe, and Keith knows they’ll be able to talk through anything. Even if he doesn’t want to, sometimes. 

Now they just have to wait to make a move. 

-

“You’ve been staring at me all night.” 

“Nuh uh.” 

“Alright, my hair.” 

“Maybe.” 

Keith snorts at Hollis and Jake, smiling at them. “Hollis offered to dye yours for you.” 

Jake hums. “The fresh cuts, not the dye. Both of you guys’ hair looks so soft...” 

Hollis smiles, reaching over and ruffling Jake’s hair. 

“You don’t look the type to have close cropped hair.” 

“Oh, definitely not.” Jake says, nose wrinkling. He leans into the touch a bit more than is normal, and Keith takes note. When Hollis pulls back, he sees the look of disappointment on Jake’s face. “I like the length it’s at right now, though I might have to cut it a bit shorter once I finally get a real job.” 

“How’s that degree comin’?” 

“Counselling takes a lot of schoolwork, but hopefully in another couple years I’ll have a place in Pocahontas county offices. Mr. Stern says I’ll be a great addition to the social services department.” 

Keith and Hollis share a look, smiling. 

“There’s no doubt you will be, Jake. We believe in you.” 

Jake’s making some real progress, and Keith is glad he gets to see that happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith's doing his best to understand his feelings, he's just been raised by conservative parents. Next chapter is the resolution and some fluff! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated!


	4. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There IS a happy ending y'all here it is

Resolutionnnnn 

-

“Jake, come on now! We’re gonna be late!” 

“We have two hours, Aubrey, don’t worry.” Jake calls back over his shoulder, smiling. “Dani’s already at the venue?” 

“Yeah. She won’t let me see her, though! All of her snaps are of Moira.” 

“She looks gorgeous. You’re gonna cry.” 

“She’s snapping you?!” 

Jake laughs brightly at Aubrey’s indignance, fixing his tie once more in the mirror before coming over to her and fixing hers. Mama is upstairs getting dressed, and they’re meeting Ned and them at the venue. Right now they’re alone, and Jake can sense the anxiety radiating off of her. He takes her by the shoulders. “Hey. You doin’ alright?” 

“Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I?” Aubrey is quick to deflect. Jake smiles softly and pulls her in for a real hug. 

“Dani hasn’t stopped gushing about you since you came to us, Aubrey. She’s so, so in love with you. So you don’t have to worry about that.” 

“Yeah?” Aubrey asks. She giggles happily. “I love her too. I’m so lucky.” 

“That you are.” 

“You know, we _did _give you a plus two,” Aubrey says as they pull apart, winking at him. Jake’s cheeks burn and he hides his face. 

“You _also _gave Keith and Hollis their own invitation,” He points out. Aubrey rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to retort, but Mama comes down the stairs in her wedding outfit looking like she’s already cried. Aubrey flies over to Mama, hugging her tight, and Mama hugs back. 

“You look so beautiful, young lady. Dani does too, from the pictures Moira sent me.” 

“Everyone gets to see her before me, that’s no fair! She’s my wife,” Aubrey says, pouting. There’s tears in her eyes too, and Jake finds himself getting pretty emotional too. He smiles at the two, and offers an arm to each. 

“Let’s get you two to the venue to finish getting ready, yeah? My two favorite girls are getting married today, and we don’t wanna be late.” 

-

“Your collar’s crooked.” 

“Do we really need to dress up? We’re not exactly the most straight-laced lookin’ anyway, so the fancy clothes ain’t all that necessary.” 

Hollis rolls their eyes as they fix Keith’s collar. The small gardens outside of Kepler are decorated in a bright mixture of pastel and punk; Jake had mentioned they were all home made by Dani, Aubrey, and Mama. They can admire that. 

“We’re dressing nice to show we respect Dani and Aubrey enough to dress nice on their special day.” 

“It’s so uncomfortable, though,” Keith says, complaining, and Hollis tugs at his hair. 

“You can change shirts after the ceremony.” 

“Good.” Keith grumbles. Once his shirt if fixed, he turns to Hollis, eyes scanning the venue; it’s looking like a pretty venue, and the weather seems to be playing along for the time being. His heart catches in his throat and he involuntarily gasps when he sees one Jake Coolice step out from Mama’s truck in the gravel parking lot. Aubrey makes a beeline to Ned Chicane standing near the altar. Hollis, confused, turns, and gives a small gasp as well. 

“Oh, hey, guys! Glad you could make it!” Jake calls to them, waving as he Jake helps Mama out of the car and over to Duck Newton with her cane before he jogs up to them. “I know you said you’d come, but it’s still nice to see you. Aubrey’s nervous as all hell, and her making me nervous. I haven’t even seen Dani in person yet.” 

“I’m sure she looks amazing, and she hasn’t tried to run for it yet so it looks like the wedding’s happening.” Hollis says, only half teasing. “You able to talk until the ceremony, mister best man?” 

Jake grins. “You know it. Hey, Keith, your collar’s messed up. Here,” Jake steps up to fix Keith’s collar again, and Hollis crosses their arms. 

“I just fixed it before you showed up, and he already messed it up.” 

“I’m not used to dressing up like this! I hate weddings.” 

“With all of your cousins, I don’t blame you.” 

“I went to six weddings last year! I didn’t have to dress up for those!” 

“Well, if it’s any consolation, you look handsome.” Jake finishes and takes a step back, smiling. Keith’s cheeks flush. “You too, Hollis, you look great.” 

“We do? You look hot as shit!” 

“You nervous, Jake?” 

Jake grins, his cheeks flushing a bit, and shakes his head. “Nah. I’m fine with crowds, and all the attention’ll be on the beautiful brides, not me.” 

Despite saying that, Jake fidgets with his bracelet as he looks around the venue. Keith frowns, because he knows Jake well enough by now to know his tells. 

“You’re lying. What’s bothering you?” 

Jake’s eyes widen in surprise before he deflates

“Aubrey’s dad is here. No one’s told him he’s not the one walking her down the aisle yet, and I guess I’m just a bit worried he’ll say stuff to get himself thrown out...” Jake murmurs, not looking up. “Aubrey and Dani already don’t have many relatives here...It would break Aubrey’s heart.” 

“Understandably.” 

“When’re y’all telling him?” 

A loud shout catches their attention, and across the clearing they all see Aubrey, flanked my Mama and Duck Newton, standing in front of an older-looking man. She looks so much smaller than usual, her bright personality sucked up by this man’s scolding. 

“I suppose right now.” Jake says sheepishly. “I’d better go see if I can help them any.” 

“You go on ahead. We’re gonna find somewhere to sit.” 

“Let us know if you need help bouncing ‘im!” 

Jake rushes to fix the situation, and Hollis and Keith find their seats, watching him go fondly. “He looks great.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Think we can get him to dance with one of us tonight?” 

“Only one? I think we can get him to dance with both of us.” 

-

Jake jumps up, a bit startled as a hand tangles in his hair and tugs a bit. He’s half asleep on Hollis and Keith’s couch, curled up under blankets, but immediately wakes up at the touch. 

“You gonna stay the night tonight? It’s late.” 

“Yeah, I probably should. Don’t want Mama pointin’ her shotgun at me again.” Jake says with a sleepy chuckle. Hollis smiles at him and he smiles back as they lean forward against the back of the couch. Keith is already asleep, head on Jake’s lap. Hollis should wake him up and take him to bed, but he looks so relaxed it would be a shame to wake him. 

“How’s her an’ Mr. Evans goin’ with Aubrey and Dani outta the house now?” 

“Its really quiet there, without them. Mama’s getting worried Barclay and I ’re gonna move out soon too...” Jake hums sleepily. Hollis’ hand hasn’t left his hair, and he finds himself wanting to lean into the touch; it somehow manages to burn and yet feel nice at the same time. Hhis brain should be working to process those conflicting feelings, but he’s so, so relaxed. “I’ve got an opening shift at the store tomorrow...” 

“Alright. I’ll bring Keith to bed so you can lay down in the spare room.” 

Jake shakes his head, and Hollis’ hand falls out of his hair. “’s fine, he can sleep a little longer.” 

“Alright. You gonna stay awake long enough for me to shower quick?” 

“Yeah, won’t have to lift me.” Jake says with a laugh. Hollis smiles and heads out of the living room, and Jake stays on the couch with Keith. One hand holds on his phone, though he isn’t all that focused on it, and the other plays lazily with Keith’s hair. Keith leans into it with a hum, lifting his head.

“Hol?..” 

“They’re in the shower, ‘s Jake.” 

“Ah...m’kay...” Keith murmurs. Snuggling closer, Keith allows Jake to keep playing with his hair, and Jake doesn’t argue that. He’s been meaning to play with both Keith and Hollis’ hair and even half asleep he appreciates the opportunity. Keith’s snoring lulls Jake to sleep, and when he wakes an hour later he’s tucked in on the couch and his phone is charging. He smiles to himself and falls back asleep, never even noticing that Keith is also covered up and cuddled at his side. 

-

"Hey, Keith?” 

“Hm?” 

“Can we...I think...” Hollis shakes their head. “D’you think we should confess to Jake?” 

“D’you want to?” 

“I dunno. I don’t know if he’s ready-- he’s doing a lot better, but...” 

“Yeah, I get that.” Keith hums. “But I think we should give it a chance.” 

“You think?” 

Keith nods. “Yeah.” 

-

It’s hard to find the right moment to tell Jake how they feel. After Aubrey and Dani’s move, Jake is trying to spend more time at home so Mama and Barclay don’t get so lonely. With the colder seasons coming, Keith has to spend a lot more time at work doing tuneups. Hollis is beginning to earn even more duties at work as the owner of the Hornet’s Nest decides to retire. Life is busy for them, and when they do get to hang out it just doesn’t feel...right. For one reason or another, it’s just not the right time. 

Now seems like the right time to Keith, though, and when he makes eye contact with Hollis across the room they’re thinking the same thing too. With Jake beating them both at Mario Kart and laughing so brightly he could light up the room, and Hollis and Keith curled up on the couch next to each other, it just feels...right. 

“Damn, how’d you get so good at this?”

“Yeah, it’s no fair!” 

“I’ve lived with Dani for like five years. She’s a Mario Kart _legend_!” Jake laughs. He tosses his controller up and catches it, and Hollis has such a fond look on their face it makes Keith’s heart melt. “You guys are gonna have to play her sometimes, if you think I’m good.” 

“Yeah, we’ll have to do that sometime.” Hollis says with a smile. They look over at Keith, then back at Jake. “Maybe we can make it a date?” 

There’s a beat of silence, and Keith’s breath catches in his throat. Him and Hollis got together so easily, he never had to worry about rejection. Even if he knows how Jake feels, this is terrifying. 

“Like, a friend date?” Jake asks, hesitant. 

“Like a double date,” Hollis clarifies. “If you’re...still interested?” 

Keith clears his throat. “We both, uh-- really like you, Jake.” 

The look on Jake’s face would be comical, if Hollis and Keith weren’t both panicking internally. His jaw is dropped, his eyes wide, and face completely panicked. He looks like he can’t tell if they’re joking or not. 

“Are you s-- Are you guys serious?..” 

“You know we wouldn’t joke about that,” Keith says, and Hollis nods vigorously. “It’s something we’ve talked about for a while, and if you’re comfortable?..” 

“We don’t want you to feel pressured. You can think about it for a few days, if you want.” 

“Right.” 

Jake’s look of shock is still on his face as he opens his mouth to speak, a bit hesitant, “...I don’t think I need to wait at all. If you guys are comfortable, I really do like you guys...and-- and I-- yeah.” 

“Really?” Hollis looks over at Keith, a grin on their face. Jake nods. “Oh, thank god.” 

“That was stressful,” Keith says, melting against Hollis, and they chuckle at him, tugging his hair a bit. 

“Now that that awkward bit is over, let’s see if we can finally kick your ass at Mario Kart, huh?” 

-

It’s, surprisingly, really awkward for Jake to fall into a relationship with Hollis and Keith. 

Despite how happy he is, he doesn’t know how he fits in, exactly. Keith and Hollis have been dating since they were nineteen, and now at twenty-five, they’re a pretty well-rounded couple. They know each other so well they can finish each other’s sentences, and Jake doesn’t know what limits they have set in place. The fact that there seems to be a learning curve for Hollis and Keith, as well, is at least comforting. Though he’s quite sure it’s because of his particular mental state prior to getting together, and not because they’re not used to this whole open relationship thing. They seem to be fitting into that pretty well-- offering dates, hanging out more, cuddling. 

...but they’re hesitant about doing things like cuddling and kissing and hugs. Which Jake totally understands! Don’t get him wrong! 

He just wishes it weren’t so damn awkward. 

“Hey, uh-- Is this alright?” 

Keith’s hand snakes in his, and Jake’s heart hammers in his throat. He nods, swallowing thickly. “Yeah, definitely. You can do that whenever.” 

Keith’s smile sends his heart soaring and he smiles. 

It’s awkward, but-- but it’s betting better. 

\- 

This is not exactly how Hollis had thought their first kiss (not on the cheek/forehead) with Jake would go. 

They’d expected him to be flustered, embarrassed maybe, and maybe a bit concerned about taking Hollis’ attention from Keith, and having a panic attack isn’t exactly on par with what their expectations were but here they are. Jake is curled up tight against the arm of the couch, looking like he’s either going to pass out or be sick because of how much he’s hyperventilating. 

“Jake, honey--” Jake flinches at their voice, and Hollis cringes, lowering their voice. “Hey, it’s alright. You’re safe here. It’s just me and Keith in the apartment right now.” 

“Nothing bad is going to happen to you. Can you focus on our voices, bud?” 

Hollis doesn’t know what to do-- they haven’t had to deal with panic attacks before, and Keith’s only had mild panic attacks, so they have no idea what to do to help him. Especially considering they can’t even touch him right now; every time either Hollis or Keith moves, he flinches away and let out the most heart-wrenching noises. 

“Take a deep breath, Jake. Can you copy my breathing?” Keith takes a few deep breaths, and Jake does his best to copy it, hiccuping breaths the only noise in the room. “Yeah, that’s good. You’re doing great, Jake, you’re safe. You can’t get hurt here, promise.” 

“’romise?” Jake hiccups, and Keith nods slowly. 

“Yeah, bud. You’re fine, you’re safe.” 

It takes another five minutes for Jake to fully calm down, and he looks utterly exhausted once he can breathe again. Their pizza has long since gone cold, but Hollis doesn’t know how much he’ll want it anymore. 

“You alright?” Hollis asks gently, and Jake gives a tired nod. 

“Sorry. That wasn’t very cool of me, was it?” 

Hollis smiles, reaches out and ruffles his hair, happy that he doesn’t flinch. “That’s alright.” 

“We can’t all be cool all the time,” Keith stands from where he’d been crouched in front of Jake, stretching his legs. “You did scare us a bit, though.” 

“Yeah, I’m uh-- I’m sorry.” Jake clears his throat sheepishly. Hollis just shakes their head and smiles softly. 

“You’re alright, Jake. I should’ve asked you before I kissed you.” They say. “I’ll make sure to do that next time.” 

“‘s fine, uh-- I mean-- I liked it, just...uh...” Jake coughs. “Remembered what happened last time I kissed someone. Been working on that in therapy, but I guess I didn’t uh-- didn’t get everything figured out.” 

“Right. You don’t gotta talk about it tonight, or any time soon, with us but we’re here for you. Promise.” 

A shaky smile finds Jake’s lips. “Right. I’ll, uh-- I’ll let you know when I’m ready...” 

“Alright. You still hungry?” 

“Nah, not really.” 

“Alright. we’ll put it in the fridge, see if you are later.” 

Hollis gets up as well and puts the plate in the fridge as Keith comes back into the room with an armful of blankets, tossing them on top of Jake with a fond smile. “I was thinking cuddle pile while I edit a couple of stunt videos? Put on some drama videos for you and Hollis to watch?” 

“Sure, sounds good.” 

And even though the night started bad, as they settle into the couch Hollis thinks at least Jake stayed with them afterwards. Later, when they ask to kiss his cheek before he leaves, Jake has a much better, healthier reaction. 

-

It takes a few more weeks, but eventually Jake is able to kiss both of his partners without panicking. But _man_, when he _does_\-- 

He doesn’t want to ever stop. Hollis’ lips are always chapped, but they kiss so softly, so sweetly. Keith’s kisses are a bit more...not intense, but with more pressure. It’s grounding, in some way. 

“Hey, don’t you have work?” 

Hollis and Keith had slept over, a snow storm having washed over Kepler, and when Jake wakes he’s actually surprised to see them both still in bed. Surprised, but not upset. 

“I called in, I don’t feel like gettin’ out of bed...” Keith murmurs, nuzzling ever closer as Jake pulls the blankets up over them more. “’m way too comfy to leave.” 

“Yeah? Well, I won’t fight you. It’s still early, so you can go back to sleep if you want.” Jake says gently, brushing Keith’s hair out of his face. Keith hums, tilting his head back and kisses his fingers. 

“Yeah. Sounds good. You too?” 

“Me too.” 

Jake smiles as Keith lays his head back down and goes back to sleep, practically melting against him. He peeks over to Hollis, finds them fast asleep curled around Keith. With the snow falling outside and the warmth he’s siphoning from his partners, he’s glad that he doesn’t have any obligations and can just cuddle with them. 

Later in the morning finds them coming back inside after shoveling the driveway, Mama and Barclay both leaving them for the day to head to work once they’re done. They have some far-too-sugary cereal and fall onto the couch in a heap. Their cheeks and noses are rosy from the cold, and a kettle is heating on the stove. 

An anime plays on the TV as Hollis detangles Jake’s hair with their fingers-- the dub, because Jake can’t pay enough attention to the subs. Keith’s head is in Jake’s lap and he watches the TV intently, relaxed, and it’s all just so...domestic. And good. 

-

"I’m back!” 

“Hey, Jake. How was therapy?” 

“Good! I got a new show recommendation from Emile, I was gonna head over to Hollis and Keith’s to watch it,” Jake says, his voice fading as he pops into his bedroom. Mama, from the couch, hums. 

“You know, you practically live there by now, Jake. Why don’t you actually move in?” 

“Huh?” 

“Why don’t you move in with those two?” Mama asks again, louder, and finally Jake comes back from his room and leans against the doorframe. He looks a bit guilty. 

“I mean, we-- well, we’ve talked about it? ‘Cause I’m there so much...But I don’t wanna leave you and Barclay alone...” He murmurs, and Mama stands, stretching, before making her way over to him. She places a hand on his shoulder. 

“Jake, you know you don’t have to stay with us. I had the same talk with Aubrey and Dani when they left. Barclay and I’re just fine, buddy.” 

“Are-- Are you sure?..” 

“Positive.” Mama ruffles his hair. “Stern’s movin’ in, soon, and we’ve still got some kiddos comin’ though every now an’ then. So you don’t gotta worry ‘bout us bein’ lonely.” 

“So Stern finally said yes to Barclay?” 

“These two’ve been dancin’ back and forth since before even Moira, so I’d hope they finally got their shit together,” Mama says with a snort. Jake chuckles, helping her back over to her chair. “But I ain’t gonna rush you if you wanna stay, son.” 

“I’ll...think about it. Like I said, we talked about it, I’ve just been a bit worried about you guys.” The doorbell rings and Jake jumps, grabbing his bag from the couch and rushing over to kiss Mama’s cheek before running out of the door with “That’s Keith, I’ll see you tomorrow, Mama!” 

Mama smiles and shakes her head at how sweet her boy is, getting up to lock the door behind him once he’s gone. It was a bit rough there for Jake and his partners, but it seems like they’re all doing just fine now; that’s all she’s ever wanted for her kids, is them to be happy. 

And Hollis and Keith seem to make Jake real happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry this took so long! I started a new Balance fic (it's called Best-Laid Plans, you should read it!) and a new Haikyuu!! AU on my Tumblr so this project got kinda put on the back burner. But here's the happy ending! At some point, I'll also add a sternclay and indruck addition to the Mama's Home universe but right now I'll be focusing on Best-Laid Plans <3 
> 
> Jake does eventually get better with communication and talks to Hollis and Keith about his trauma, and they work together to figure out ways to be intimate without triggering him. 
> 
> Jake moves in with them, as well, but they visit Mama a lot, no worries.


End file.
